


The Life Deserved

by Bleck



Category: Animorphs - Katherine A. Applegate
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Family Bonding, Fluff, Nonbinary Tobias, Past Child Abuse, Swearing, Trans girl Rachel, autistic tobias
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2018-12-22 17:17:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 22,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11971983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bleck/pseuds/Bleck
Summary: Alan and Loren Fangor get to raise their child as a happily married couple. Not quite a no-war au.





	1. Parents

**Author's Note:**

> This is what would've happened if they got to raise Tobias. You can fight me if you think they wouldn't be the best parents alive but you'd be wrong.

"Hey, um, Mom? Dad?" Tobias asked, drumming their fingers on the edge of their skirt as they stood in the center of the living room and stared at their parents, who managed to be busy but still cuddle on the loveseat. They knew they didn't really have a reason to be nervous, their parents had never been anything but accepting. Their autism diagnosis, though they didn't remember that, being bisexual, and even of not being a boy or girl. But it was really all the more reason for them to be crushed if they disapproved.

"Yea, kiddo?" Their dad asked as he put his bookmark on his page and closed the book. It was some technical computer thing that Tobias didn't really understand.

Their mom looked up from her schedule planner. Loren was one of the teachers in their middle school and she was one of the most popular, Tobias was proud. "What's the matter, sweetie?"

"Um, so..." They trailed off. "So you know how you said you'd be ok with me dating as long as I didn't do it behind your back and you approved?"

Their dad gasped and broke out in a grin. 

"Al." Loren said with a grin to match her husband's own. "Let them finish." 

"Um, yea. One second." Tobias said as they walked out of the room. They came back with a tall dark haired boy in tow. Alan had a vague idea who he was, he remembered seeing him in the crowd at some basketball game Tobias begged to go to at their school. Now that the boy was standing in his living room, he seemed to recall Tobias spending more time out of their seat than in it. Loren on the other hand knew exactly who he was. Jake Berenson, he sat next to Tobias in her English class. Both of Tobias' parents saw that they came in holding hands.

"Hello, Jake." Loren said.

"Uh, hi, Mrs. Fangor." He said.

"Tobias?" Their dad prompted.

"Uh, right. So, um, this is Jake. We want to go out. If that's ok." They mumbled.

Alan shared a silent conversation with his wife.

"I think you picked a very nice boy, Tobias." Loren said. "A boy whose grade I control, by the way."

"I'd threaten you but she's scarier." Alan laughed. "She hit an evil alien in the eye with a rock once."

Jake raised an eyebrow and Tobias shrugged in response. They'd heard the joke before and it still didn't make sense. Talk about an inside joke. Tobias really hoped it wasn't some gross sex thing.

"So, um, we're gonna go watch tv in my bedroom now." Tobias said.

"Keep the door open." Their dad said.

"Dad! We're thirteen, jeez." Tobias whined.

"You know, I can't tell if that's a 'Ugh, i'm an adult!' whine or a 'kissing is grooooss' whine." Their mom mused aloud.

"Mom!" Tobias blushed.

"Who knows, maybe it's even a, gasp, sex thing." 

"Eww, Dad, gross!" Tobias exclaimed. Their parents were so embarrassing. 

They pulled Jake towards their bedroom to the sound of their parents dying of laughter.


	2. Parents (Continued)

"Should we go check on them?" Al asked her.

"Do we trust them? They're probably too embarrassed to hold hands for more than a minute." Loren said. "I think you're thinking of late teenager stereotypes, dear."

Her husband's eyes sparkled as he smiled. "I didn't hear a no." 

Loren rolled her eyes. "I'm their _mother_ , of course I want to go spy on my kid and make sure they're ok. But should we? They've only been alone for five minutes."

"Ok, well, we don't need to go check on them. But that bed of theirs is getting kind of old, I think I should check to make sure it's not going to break." Alan said, getting off the couch and holding his hand out.

"You're terrible." Loren laughed and took his hand. "Let's go find Dude."

"The only thing more surely in that room than the race car bed is that cat."

"I won't tell if you won't."

"Of course not, lovely."

They crept out of the living room and slowly made their way upstairs. From the edge of the stairs, Alan could see Tobias had the door wide open although the squiggly smiley face thing from Nirvana and a Green Day poster were the only things he could see at his current angle. He could hear Kirk and Bones arguing about something and, underneath it, teenagers whispering.

"You know I don't think they're actually doing anything inappropriate, right?" Alan whispered.

Loren rolled her eyes. "I know, you just want to see them being adorable because you're a huge softy."

"I won't tell if you won't." He said.

"Oh, I will." She said, kissing him briefly.

With that, Loren knocked on Tobias' open door and they stood in the doorway.

Al was pleased, they were being adorable. Tobias might object to the description but it was true. Jake was tall enough to sit them in his lap and rest his head on their shoulder. Tobias flapped their free hand while the other held the boy's. The two of them had stopped talking though.

"Look at you two, being cute. I should take a picture." He said.

"Please don't do that." Tobias said, blushing.

"But my baby's growing up, becoming a teenager and dating. Pictures are important."

"Oh my god, Dad. You're such a dork." They said, shaking their head. "Are your parents like this, Jake?"

"Pretty much, yea." He said.

"That's a good thing. Embarrassing for you, sure, but it just means we care." Alan said.

"And we like to embarrass our kids." Loren said.

"That to, dear. That to."

"It's working. Please go back to being gross on the couch." Tobias implored.

"Well, if you insist dear. Might want to turn that tv up a bit." Loren laughed.

"MOM!" Tobias shrieked and covered their ears.

"I'm closing the door for your benefit!" She laughed.

"Oh my god!"

Loren and Alan laughed.

"Are they always like this?" They heard Jake ask.

"They're being GROSS RIGHT NOW," Tobias said, knowing full well they were still on the other side of their door. "But they're usually ok. They get excited about what I like even if they don't understand, they let me be me. I think they're doing a great job. Not that I want one or anything but, like, if I ever have a kid..."

Alan and Loren strained to pick up the rest of Tobias' sentence.

"...I'd want to be half as good as a parent as they are."


	3. Being a Dad

Alan browsed through the guitar selection of the small music store but looked up every few seconds to keep an eye on his child. Tobias was browsing the cd selection of the store, intent on finding the perfect cd. Alan gave it three minutes before they noticed the Green Day tour schedule behind them. He was already excited to see the look on their face when he said yes. He loved having a kid.

He tried to focus on the guitars in front of him. His opinion of music had changed greatly in the last few years, the Andalite that he used to be would be horrified to know that he occasionally produced some of that noise. Mostly of the Rolling Stones but Tobias had urged him to branch out a little and he could do nothing but comply.

A guitar had caught his interest for all of three seconds when he heard it.

"Dad! Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad." Tobias ran over and flapped their hands excitedly.

"Five Dads in a row. Must be important." Alan said, smiling at Tobias' enthusiasm. "What is it, kiddo?"

Tobias was too happy to make their usual comment about the nickname. "Dad, you know how Green Day is on tour, right?"

"I believe you might have mentioned it once or a hundred times, yes. I'm always more than happy to hear more about any of your special interests though."

"They're coming here in a month. Can we go? Please? Please?" Tobias begged.

"I don't know, sounds expensive." 

"Uh huh. Says the guy whose firm consults with three dinky companies, Microsoft, Apple, and IBM, and probably a bunch of other huge ones." 

"What guy is that?" Alan asked, with feigned curiosity.

"Oh, let me think, maybe it's the guy who has a picture of all three of the CEOs with him in the living room." Tobias rolled their eyes.

"Is that sass I hear, from the child with no money or car to get to that concert they just mentioned?" 

"Dad, come on. Yes or no?" Tobias asked, latching on to their father's arm.

"I think we'll have to ask your mom." He said, grinning. They both knew what would happen. Loren would say 'Be on your best behavior and keep trying your hardest in school and I don't see why not'.

"Sweet! Thank you so much!" Tobias hugged their dad even as he ruffled their hair.

Tobias let go only to grin up at their dad. Alan returned it with enthusiasm. He had seen the poster the other day when he was ordering strings and offered to take Tobias to come with him today to pick them up. He'd been waiting all day for Tobias to get home from school so he could show them.

Suddenly, all exuberance coming from them died. Tobias stilled completely, their smile replaced by an expression of fear. Terror, said one hand of their's clenching and unclenching as the other held onto him with a death grip. Tobias's gaze was glued firmly to a spot at their feet now instead of behind Alan. "Dad..." They mouthed, too afraid to even speak.

In the half second it took Alan to notice these changes, Elfangor was ready to kill. 

"Go to the car, Tobias." Elfangor ordered. Tobias ran out of the store through the closest exit. The clerk behind the counter had the good sense to leave as well.

He would never forgive himself for what happened. John, Loren's brother, had been staying with them for a few days. Loren had been in the hospital and they had called because "there's been a complication". He and Loren agreed, if anything, anything at all, went wrong with the pregnancy, Tobias was not to be there. Alan made the mistake of trusting John for just a few hours.

The first thing John had done, pieced together from Tobias's account and the evidence, was raid the liquor cabinet. Which, under different circumstances, would not have been a problem. The alcohol was there for adults to enjoy. But not in the company of children. Whenever they held parties, it was a concrete rule. If there were minors present then no one was allowed to be drunk. But John had gotten drunk while he was supposed to be watching Elfangor's child. Even that could have been forgiven after a dire warning, time, and a heartfelt apology to everyone. But that was not the worst of his offenses.

John had taken a cigarette and burned Tobias. 

Elfangor had adapted to not having stalk eyes, four legs, and a tail blade. He learned how to fight as a human. Just because he was human did not mean he would be defenseless if his family needed to be protected. He even cobbled together a shredder, disguised as a phaser from Star Trek, that he had put on a high shelf. Accessible if he ever truly need it. John was lucky it only had a few charges and especially that Loren had the sense of mind to tell him it could draw attention because, truly, charges be damned.

Alan had learned how to make pleasantries through gritted teeth, got good at it even. But John wasn't some whining client. John had mocked and burned his child. Elfangor went mad with rage then, had beaten the man bloody within an inch of his life.

It was a testament to his control that he didn't do it again right then and there.

"John. Stay away from Tobias and my family. I told you that once. I am telling you that again. You will not get a third chance." Elfangor said.

"Your son's a-"

Elfangor had never been very good at control. He punched the man in the throat and kicked his feet out from under him. "Tobias isn't a boy. They're not my son, they're my child. They're smart, and kind, and a good person."

John grunted from the floor and tried to rise.

Elfangor kicked him into the counter.

"You're a bad person, John. Disgusting. Vile even. If any of us see you again, I promise you this. I will be worse." Elfangor told him. He kicked him again to get his rage out, Tobias didn't need to see him like this.

On his way out, he grabbed the cd Green Day was on tour for and dropped a fifty on the counter. He didn't want to make his kid sit in a hot car for no reason. The clerk could keep the change. Alan liked to think he was decent at being a person but he'd be damned if he wasn't a good dad.


	4. Green Day

"Morning!" Tobias greeted their parents with a smile as they sat down in the kitchen.

"Dear, who is this exuberant child sitting at your kitchen table?" Loren asked, putting her coffee down to give Tobias an exaggerated once over.

"I don't know, love. It's only," Alan checked the clock. "It's 9:45 in the morning and Tobias rarely wakes up before noon."

"Are you making pancakes?" They asked, ignoring their parents jab. Waking up in the morning on the weekend was for parents and people with jobs and they were neither.

"I sure am. But only for me and my darling wife. You'll have to pay me."

"Uh huh." Tobias said.

"Oh no, I'm serious. I take cash and credit. Or the reason why you're up so early with a smile on your face. That'll suffice." He smiled, holding the chocolate chip pancake batter over the griddle as leverage.

"Because! Jake gave me a rock magazine last night, the one with Billie Joe Armstrong on the cover I showed you. He's the lead singer of Green Day. Anyway, you two were asleep when I read it and I wanted to tell you as soon as possible. He's bi to! I mean, Coming Clean was obviously about coming out but I thought it was just, like, me projecting or whatever. But no, he's actually bi!" Tobias grinned and flapped so hard they thought they were going to hurt their wrist.

"That's great, Toby!" Loren beamed. "I'm afraid he's a bit old for you though." 

"He's only a couple years older." They muttered. "But that's not the point. It's just, I don't know what it is, but I'm excited!" Tobias got out of their seat and started to bounce up and down. "He's pretty and he sings really good and just, ugh, he's even cooler now!"

"I'm glad you're excited, Tobias. But you can't bounce and eat pancakes at the same time." Their dad told them as he brought a couple pancakes over to their spot at the table.

"Yea, I know." Tobias said. They kept bouncing and started to flap again, keeping their wrist straight this time.

"Hey, Tobes?"

"Yea, dad?" They asked, still stimming.

"Do you know what today is?" He asked.

"No. Why?" They settled down. Was it something important?

"A week till the concert where you'll get to see him in person." He said with a smile.

"Already?! Awesome!" 

"I have an important bit of news though." He said, seriously.

"Can you not go?" Tobias asked, slouching. It was exceptionally rare for their dad to have to back out of things due to work, their dad made sure family came first. Tobias had no idea how many times their dad had said "Work is important but family always comes first, second, and third.". But sometimes things happened, Tobias understood. They knew they were lucky to go at all. But the concert wouldn't be as great without the both of them there.

"Oh no, kiddo. I'm sorry. I can go, don't worry." Alan said, coming over to give Tobias a hug.

"It's just, I seem to have accidentally bought an extra ticket. If he's available, you can ask Jake if he wants to come." 

Tobias hugged their dad back and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you! You're the best!"

"Hey, what about me?" Their mom asked, mock offended.

"You're the best to, Mom." Tobias said, giving her a kiss on the cheek as well. "Can I call Jake now?"

"How about you eat your food first, Tobias. Then you can talk to Jake for as long as you want." She said.

Tobias couldn't be happier.


	5. Queer Morale

"What was your favorite song, Jake?" Loren asked as she slid into the booth. 

Tobias sat down next to her, still brimming with excitement but letting someone else speak. They had been freaking out the entire car ride to the diner they stopped at and it was time to let someone else speak. They were mostly ok with that.

"I'm not sure, they were all really good. Longview maybe." He said, letting Tobias' dad sit across from his wife before he sat down.

"Nice." Tobias said. Everyone else had just been subject to a ten minute speech by them about how "totally amazing, so cool" the song was and how "the bridge is so cool, Dad you need to figure out how to play it on your guitar." so Tobias didn't say anything else on the subject.

"What about yours, love?" Alan asked her.

"Hmm, She, I think. Or When I come Around. That one was good to. You, lovely?"

"Burnout or Basket Case. But I think Tobias has convinced me to give Longview a shot on the guitar." Alan smiled. "Not any time today though, i'm beat."

"That's ok, Dad." Tobias said.

"I'm so glad I have your permission. Loren, nudge our child for me." Alan laughed.

"Besides Longview, do you have another favorite?" Jake asked.

"When I Come Around. Coming Clean is really good, they're all great, but it's really short. So it would have to be When I Come Around." Tobias said. 

Their waitress came around the corner towards them and Tobias gently poked their mom's arm.

"Of course, darling." Loren said.

"Thanks." Tobias mumbled and pointed towards what they wanted on the menu. They didn't like talking to strangers.

After they all finished ordering, a group of college aged punks stumbled in. Loren could tell most, if not all of them, were drunk and had likely come from the same concert they had just went to.

Loren watched them elbow each other and look over towards their table, one of them even pointed. To Tobias of course. And they had been having such a good day. Thankfully, Tobias was too busy bouncing in their seat and talking to Jake to notice.

Two of them, one bald and the other with close cropped hair, stumbled over to their table. If they made Tobias upset, let alone cry, they'd be in a world of trouble.

"Hey, kid. What's your name?" One of the girls, the one with short hair, asked. "I'm Alex." Every time she spoke, they were treated to the sight of a tongue piercing.

"Um...Tobias." They answered, looking at the table.

"Cool, cool. I saw you rocking out at the concert."

"Ok." Tobias mumbled.

"What's your name, big guy?" She asked Jake.

"Jake." He said.

"Cool. Sorry, one sec. Yo, Vixs, gimme a chair." She said, pushing the other girl off her even though she was forced to sway without her. "It's cool, just, one sec. I should be in my damn wheelchair but the venue hadn't been very accessible."

Vixs, apparently, took a chair from a nearby table and brought it over. The Phoenix that dominated her head was even more obvious as she turned away from them.

"Sweet." Alex spun it around so she could prop her arms on the back of it. "So, yea, my name is Alex. I said that, right? Yea, yea, I said that already."

"Your point, please." Loren said, icily.

"Oh, shit! Sorry, I totally wasn't thinking. Booze and all that. I totally forgot straight cis people exist. We're all gay and shit. Tobias, it's Tobias right?"

"Uh huh." They said, looking up at the girl.

"Tobias is, like, baby me. Right, Vixs? Love the skirt by the way, Tobias, totally adorable."

"Oh god, totally." Vixs said as she wrapped her arms over Alex's shoulder.

"Yea. See? I'm a trans dyke. Bi as fuck. Oh, shit, language. No, that's a swear to. Sorry. Did you know Billie Joe Armstrong is bi, ain't that cool?"

Loren relaxed. She was very glad she had been wrong.

"Yea." Tobias agreed, perking up. "Uh, so am I."

"Radical! I don't know if you know this, Tobias, but there are chemicals and stuff you can take. When you're older I mean. Gosh, you're so cute right now. But, like, if you ever start feeling bad about your body and stuff. Tell your folks, they seem chill. That to. But, like, there's this thing called dysphoria. Vixs, how do I explain that without being a weirdo?"

"Uh, Alex, babe, you're a huge weirdo and no one can do anything about it. Dysphoria is feeling like, people don't see you how you really are or your body is off somehow. What she's trying to say is that, when you get old enough, you can take them and they'll change how you look. Mike, get over here." She called to one of the guys at the table.

A guy with liberty spikes and a beard kissed his boyfriend, who had the most tattoos Tobias had ever seen, and walked over. "Pics?"

"Pics." Alex nodded.

Mike dug out his wallet and put two pictures on the table in front of Tobias. One was of a young boy and the other was of a girl about Tobias' age. Mike left them like that for a few seconds to make sure Tobias got a good look at them and flipped them over. The boy's picture had a name on top that was scribbled over in pen with a frowny face next to it. Under that it said Alex with an exclamation point. Mike flipped the other one over. In the corner it read Julia although it was crossed out. "That was me, kid."

"Oh." Tobias said. But now they were interested. They would have never guessed.

"There are a bunch of other people like you out there, Tobias. We just wanted you to know that. From what we've seen, your parents are doing a great job but we try to intervene in the lives of baby queers when we can. Oh, that to. If anyone ever calls you that, queer, and they mean it in a bad way, kick them in the privates. But it's also a great word with a history of pride and community behind it. Do you know what that means, community?"

"Yea." 

"Sweet." Alex said. She saw the waitress coming over with their tray of food. "Ok, we're gonna stop bugging you now so you can eat."

"Wait, didn't we grab the stuff from earlier? We've been to a shit load a concerts, we don't really need it." Vixs said. "Right, language, sorry. Swearing and alcohol are bad, don't do it and listen to your parents. Not all the time though, sorry parents."

"Johnny, make yourself useful for once ya shit head." Alex called to Mike's boyfriend. "Wait, shit. Fuck. Goddammit...ignore that, small children."

Johnny rolled his eyes and rooted through one of their bags and walked over. "We caught these earlier. We're in a band and figured it'd pretty cool to use Green Day stuff in our gigs for good luck and all that but here, they'll mean more to you than us."

He handed Tobias a couple of guitar picks and he gave Jake a drumstick. All of them were signed by members of the band.

"Are you sure?" Tobias asked, grinning at Alex and the group. 

"Hell yea! Heck, I mean. Heck. It means more that we give you two this stuff so your day is even more awesome. It's been awesome, right? You two had a great time at the concert, right?"

"Yea! It was amazing." Tobias said.

"Hey, there we go! I don't know if we helped make your day even cooler or not but you two being cute together made my day stellar, keep being you." Alex said. "Get out of her way, dumbasses." She shoved the rest of her band out of the way so the waitress could bring the food over. "Sorry about that, miss."

"It's no problem." She said, smiling what seemed to be a genuine smile to the drunk rocker.

As Tobias and Jake ate, Loren watched the group of punks shove each other and laugh as they drank their milkshakes. "Excuse me, Tobias." Loren said. Tobias got up and Loren walked over to the cash register.

"I'd like to pay my bill and theirs, if that's alright." Loren said, nodding her head over to the punks.

"Uh, sure." The waitress said.

"Thank you."

Alex walked over to her before she got three feet away. "Hey. Sorry about that. The swearing and just sitting down like that. I should've checked if it was ok."

Loren shook her head. "It's no problem. Tobias doesn't feel comfortable around strangers but they warmed right up to you. I think it was good for them to see so many older LGBT people like Armstrong and you in one night."

"Yea, that's half the reason we stop for food after concerts. Food and helping kids, basically the two best things ever. 'Scuse me, gotta pay for that food. Fucking capitalism, amiright?"

"I paid it for you, actually. It was just a few dollars, it was the least I could do. Tobias is going to remember this night for years."

"Holy shit, thank you so much! I hope you all have fantastic lives." Alex said, waving to her band mates to get out.

"You know, Tobias is going to be upset if they can't look you up later." Loren said.

Alex grinned wildly. "We fucking suck, we need all the fans we can get. We're called Queer Morale." She ran over to Vixs and grabbed her bag and rummaged through it. She came back to Loren with a blank cd case with a cd with the words Queer Morale- We Suck! written on it. "Some of it is so not twelve year old appropriate, I'd give it a listen before I give it to Tobias." 

"A punk rocker suggesting censorship?" Loren raised an eyebrow.

"I gotta look after our first fans, ya know. The guys can't control themselves without me so I gotta get going. Seriously though, thank you." She said.

Loren raised the cd in acknowledgement. 

Alex nodded and jogged after her band who had made it outside. 

Loren and her family followed them into the cool night soon after. 

The band were belting out the first lines of Burnout over and over in their van. "I declare I don't care no more, I'm burning up and out and growing bored." Vixs waved to them as they got in Loren's car.

"Did you have a good time?" Loren asked.

"Today was perfect, mom."


	6. Date Night

"Are you sure? You can say no, you know that. Right, Tobias?" Loren asked.

"Yes, Mom. It's fine. Go, have fun with Dad away from me for a few hours. You guys deserve it, really." Tobias said, giving her one last hug before she left. "It's not like you're dropping me off at my boyfriend's house for our first sleepover or anything. Oh, wait. Yes you are."

"I love you, Toby. Be safe." Loren said, giving them what really had to be their last hug to get to the restaurant on time.

"I love you to, Mom. You to." Tobias kissed her cheek. "Dad's already in the car with your purse, yes I know both your numbers, yes I'll call before bed, and I probably won't want to but I will be ready to leave by noon tomorrow."

"We love you, Tobias." She said.

"I know, Mom. I love the both of you to. I'm shutting the door now. Go, it's fine." Tobias smiled.

Loren was only crying a little bit as Tobias closed the door. She didn't want to ruin her make up though so she blinked the tears away. She could do this, she could have fun with her husband while Tobias was on the other side of town. Having their first full, over night, sleep over. With their boyfriend. She was so going to ruin her make up.

"Here, lovely." Al said as she closed the Mustang's door. He held a box of tissues out to his wife.

She accepted them gratefully. "We have such a good kid, Al."

"Our kid has great parents." 

"They're more excited for the date than I am." 

"That's because they get to spend it with their boyfriend and away from us. Tobias wouldn't care if all we did was watch movies on the couch and eat popcorn as long as we were happy. Popcorn, I remind you, is still an option if you don't want to go to this restaurant." 

"We've had the reservation for a month, Alan Fangor. We're not going home to eat popcorn. Get going already, sheesh. We're going to be late."

"Just saying, lovely."

Loren thought that restaurant was fancy but not oppressively so. People were dressed up but still enjoying themselves. The food was actually filling and, most importantly, good.

"I have no idea how you don't gain any weight eating like that." Loren said as she watched her husband, she loved being able to say that- her husband, eat another set of spring rolls. He was very likely going to finish every last bite of his food.

"I'll tell you a secret, dear love of mine." He said after he sat his wine down.

"Oh?"

"It's because i'm an alien."

"More like an ass." She laughed. "I love you all the same though."

"I love you to, Loren."

"I love you more, husband."

"Surely, I love you more, dear wife."

"Fat chance, horse-boy." She snorted.

Alan laughed.

"God, I really do love you Loren. So, so much."

"I'm pretty sure we've overused the word love this past two hours." She said.

"Do you want to get married again?" He asked.

"A vow renewal ceremony? Why, what for?"

"It's been almost thirteen years since we got married and I bet Tobias would love to be a part of it. Do you remember when they were a little kid?" 

"They're thirteen, they still are. But yes, when they were upset that they couldn't be part of our wedding because they hadn't been born yet. I remember that. But it was almost ten years ago, I don't think they care."

"I'm positive they'd want to be, lovely. But even if they don't care, what do you think? Would you want to?"

"How big a thing are you thinking of? New rings, new dress, etc? Because I can barely do one night away, I don't think I'd be able to do a whole second honeymoon without them." Loren said.

"Well, I wasn't sure what to think but something small. Darling, even if you could, I couldn't do a second honeymoon away from Tobias. But that doesn't mean we couldn't take a family vacation."

"I think that's an idea we could all get behind."

The rest of ther night was as equally wonderful as dinner. They had more time than they thought they would between dinner and the comedy club so they stopped at a movie theater along the way and watched the first movie that caught their interest. After that, they raced to the comedy club and made it just in time. Loren hardly had to explain anything to her husband.

Loren's phone rang as they got back in the car.

"Hey, baby." She said. 

'Tobias' She mouthed to her husband.

"How's the sleepover going? Are you having fun?" 

"The date's been wonderful, sweetie. Your dad and I were talking and we wanted to know what you thought about a vow renewal ceremony."

"It's a thing married people do. Maybe they reached ten or some years, or something happened and they wanted to reaffirm their commitment to each other, or sometimes the couple didn't have a ceremony and they want one now."

"I guess I didn't explain it very well. When your dad and I got married, we did it at the courthouse. We didn't know anybody here and didn't want to wait to get to know people. Then we had you, munchkin. So we were thinking, since our thirteenth wedding anniversary is coming up, we could get our vows renewed and you could be part of the wedding this time around. You'd get to wear a pretty dress or a suit, whichever, and match woth one of us. Does that make sense? More importantly, would you be ok with that?

"That's ok, baby. I love you. I hope you have a good rest of your sleepover. Good night, Tobias."

Alan pointed to himself.

"Oh, Dad says he loves you to."

"How's it going?" He asked her as she put her phone away.

"They said they were having fun but that's all."

"Did you have fun?"

"I've had a great time, Al. Tonight and every night I've spent with you have been wonderful." She said. Then she kissed him.

"The night's not quite over." She said when they pulled apart.

"Oh?" 

"Mhm. And we have until almost noon tomorrow."

"If I'm a horse, you're a rabbit." 

"Bite me."

"If you insist.

"You're damn right I do."


	7. Sleepover

"Have you ever snuck out before?" Jake asked.

"No." Tobias snorted. "Where would I go? What would I even do? Who would I do it with, I don't really have friends." 

"I'm sorry." 

Tobias shook their head. "It's fine, Jake. It's like, I talk to people at school but they're not friends I want to bring home. Unlike you."

"You can borrow some of mine." Jake offered.

Tobias giggled.

"No, I'm serious. You know Marco, right?"

"Yea."

"You'd get along great if you actually talked. You're both in love with Star Trek for one. I don't have a for two off the top of my head but you'd get along. His mom's cool to. My cousin Rachel is awesome, you'd like her. She's in love with clothes and makeup and stuff, that's something to talk about. She's dating Cassie, who's super nice. She, Cassie, loves animals to. I know you're more into dinosaurs but if you like any animals today, you could talk about that. Cassie probably knows something about whatever your favorite animal is. So, there, three friends for life." 

"For life? That seems a bit much. I think I've said three words to Marco, seven at most to Cassie, and nothing to Rachel." Tobias said.

"Really? You haven't talked to her at all?" Jake asked, brow furrowed. 

"I don't think so." Tobias shrugged.

"Why?" 

Tobias could tell it was important to Jake for some reason so they told him the truth. "There were these two girls that are friends with Rachel, I think they're both on the same sports team or something, who told me that...it doesn't matter, Jake." 

"I'm sorry, Tobias. They said something stupid, right?" Jake hugged them tighter.

"Cruel. They said something cruel." 

"Ok." Jake said. "I need you to get up for a second, Tobias." 

"Uh, ok?" Tobias got up out of Jake's lap and played with the edge of their sleep shirt.

"Come on." Jake said, taking them by the hand.

"What's going on?" Tobias asked, voice higher than normal.

"I'm calling Rachel." Jake said, simply.

"It's past eleven, can you do that?" 

"If it's important. And it is. And while we're up, you can call your parents after. Though we might want to stay by the phone." 

"Ok..." 

"Jake, what're you two still doing up?" Jake's mom asked from her seat at their table as he marched into the kitchen.

"Calling Rachel. It's important, Mom." 

Jake's mom gave him a very mom styled once over but waved him on with an amused expression on her face.

"What're their names, Tobias?" Jake asked as his aunt's phone rang.

"Uh, I think Jessica and, uh, something with an m."

"Melissa?"

"No, not her. She's nice."

"Megan?"

"Yea, I think that's it. Black hair?"

"Yea, that's her. Uh, hi. I know it's late, Aunt Naomi, but can I talk to Rachel real quick please?" Jake asked.

Tobias could hear his aunt shout for her.

"If she was asleep, she's not anymore." Jake's mom said.

"Hey, Rachel, it's Jake. Yes, I know it's late. Hey, you know Tobias right?" Jake asked.

"Right, that one." 

"See, that's what I said. I told them you'd get along great. One second," Jake told her, turning to Tobias quickly. "She said she's been meaning to talk to you, Tobias."

"What's up is that when I said you'd get along great, they said that Megan and Jessica said...well, I'm not sure what they said because Tobias didn't want to talk about it. So whatever they said to them, that's why Tobias hasn't tried talking to you yet."

"I can't hold because Tobias has to call their parents-. She hung up." Jake told the audience that was now in the kitchen. At some point, Tom and his dad came in and he hadn't noticed. 

"Would you like to call your mom now, Tobias?" Jake's mom asked.

"Yes, please." They said.

Jake gave them the phone and sat down. Tobias punched in her number.

"Hi, Mom."

"It's fun. How's the date?" 

"A what?"

"That sounds silly."

"Oh...uh, no, I guess that makes sense. I guess I approve? That sounds more like a you thing than a me thing, Mom. Jake's waiting for his cousin to call back so I have to go."

"I love you to, Mom. See you tomorrow. Good night." Tobias hung up and hovered over Jake's shoulder. They still didn't know his family.

"You know, you're like a cat." Tom, Jake's older brother, said.

"Tom, don't be mean." His mom said, smacking him in the shoulder.

"It's not mean, Mom. Everyone likes cats. They're like a cat you bring home, who hang in one room or around one person until they get comfortable around the rest of the people who live there." He explained.

"Dude was like that." Tobias offered with a small smile. Cats were definitely cool.

"Dude your cat?" Tom asked.

Tobias nodded.

"Cool." 

Jake was saved from listening to his brother make any more awkward conversation by the phone ringing.

"Rachel?" He asked, picking it up.

"I was just asking."

"Yea, I figured you would."

"Tobias is leaving at around noon tomorrow if you want to be up early."

"Ok, cool." The line clicked and Jake hung up the phone.

"Mom, Rachel's coming over early tomorrow. Tobias, Rachel is now no longer friends with Jessica or Megan and she's going to tell us about what's definitely going to be a great conversation in the morning." Jake told them.

"Midget means Rachel just verbally murdered two girls in epic fashion." Tom said.

"That to." Jake said.

"That sounds like enough excitement for the night, you two. How about you hit the hay?" Jake's dad asked although Tobias knew he didn't mean it like an actual question.

"Ok, Dad." Jake said, leading Tobias back into his room. 

"Rachel just ended two friendships like that? Isn't that going to mess up her team dynamic or whatever?" Tobias asked.

"One hundred percent. She asked what they said, they must have told her whatever it was, and now they're gone. She might even convince her coach to kick them off the team. If not, she might quit in protest."

"You make it sound like she's done it before."

"It's practically her thing. If someone's being a jerk, she's not going to hang out with them. She cares about people a lot."

"Cool." 

"Yea."

"So," Tobias was cut off by their own yawn. "I'm really tired."

"We can go to bed if you want." Jake said.

Tobias nodded. "Thanks."

It was Jake's turn to yawn. "Yea, bed sounds like a good idea."

Jake threw his covers to one side then walked over to turn his light off. He joined Tobias in his bed and wrapped them both in his blankets. "I'm glad you're short. We get to cuddle like this." He said, pressing his knees up against the back of Tobias' own.

Tobias wriggled back into Jake's stomach as close as they could get. "You're comfy."

"I'm pudgy." He said, blushing slightly.

"And nice and comfy."

"That...actually makes me feel good. Thanks."

They both fell asleep with smiles on their faces.


	8. Nightmare Fixing

"Up for a glass of water to, Tobes?" Their dad asked, coming out of their bedrooms in almost the same second.

Tobias shook their head.

"You got to sleep, right?"

Tobias didn't move.

"Nightmare?"

Tobias gave him a single nod.

"I'm- oof." Tobias ran into their dad, hugged him, and began to cry.

"Ooh, kiddo." Alan hugged them and rubbed their hair. "Hey, how about you and I get some hot chocolate? Would that help?"

Tobias sniffed into his chest. The closest they could get to a maybe between their tears.

"I'd offer...actually, screw it. C'mere." Alan scooped Tobias up and they latched their arms around his neck. "There we go." As Alan walked down the stairs, he was glad there was a railing. 

"We're here." He announced as they entered the kitchen. "As much as I'd love to have an hour long hug from my favorite child, I don't think I can make hot chocolate if you're a koala. I gotta set you down now, ok?" 

Tobias nodded into his neck.

"Ok. One," Alan nudged a chair away from the table with his foot. "Two." He bent over enough that Tobias could sit down. "And three is you." Tobias let go of his neck. "Four is this." Alan hunched down and wiped their tears away with his thumb. "Five is this and hot chocolate." Alan kissed Tobias' forehead and ruffled their hair. 

He stood back up and walked into the pantry. "The instant hot chocolate is in the cupboard but the nightmare fixing hot chocolate is in here. It takes longer but tastes better and makes the bad dreams go away, promise."

Ten minutes later, Alan set down two mugs of hot chocolate on the table. "Sprinkle of cinnamon and a mountain of whipped cream for you, gallant maiden." 

Tobias giggled. "You messed it up." 

"How so?" 

"It's gallant knight or fair maiden, Dad." 

"That may be so for most people but that seems very boy/girl to me. So I combined them. How's that for smart?"

"Oh. Thanks. I like it then. And thanks for the hot chocolate." 

"Anything for you, Tobias." He said, more serious than Tobias would ever know. "So, you don't have to but, once you're done, you can tell me about that nightmare of yours if you want." 

"Ok." 

They sat in silence and just enjoyed their hot chocolate and the early light of the pre-dawn sky filtered through the window.

"How was it?" Alan asked after Tobias finished off the last of their whipped cream.

"Good." Tobias said. "I don't remember the nightmare anymore though."

"Even better." He said as he put their cups in the sink. "Care to indulge your old man, kiddo?"

"Sure." 

"Come back to bed with your mom and I? Just so I can make sure the hot chocolate worked."

Tobias nodded.

"Piggyback ride?" He offered.

Tobias smiled, shyly.

Alan nudged open his bedroom door with his foot and walked in. 

Loren stirred in her spot on their bed. "What's up, Al?"

"Lovely, we have a bed guest." He said as he bent down so Tobias could slide off and under the covers.

Loren wrapped her arm over Tobias and went back to bed.

"Comfy, munchkin?"

"Yea. Thanks, Dad." 

"It's what I'm here for."


	9. Sick

Tobias yawned for the third time in a minute and tried not to lean on their mom.

"I think it's time for bed, munchkin." She said, rubbing their hair back so she could check their temperature. "Still a lot warm, hmm."

"'Mm ok." They mumbled.

"So you were faking it when you puked in the bathroom earlier to get out of school? Or are you just being tough like your mom?" She asked.

"...tough." 

"That's what I figured. I'm gonna get you some more medicine, ok?"

"Mhm-hm." 

Loren laid Tobias' head gently down on their bed as she got up. She raced downstairs and grabbed the medicine from the kitchen counter, she had forgotten to put it away earlier because of more puking, and came back to Tobias' side. "Open up for me?" 

Tobias opened their mouth weakly and Loren spooned the medicine in. They made a face but swallowed it and the next teaspoon. 

"Good job, munchkin. I'm gonna turn the tv off and let you get some rest, alright?" Loren was glad they were just tired, they were looking a lot better than they had before.

"Ok." 

Loren got up and turned the tv off. "Hey, are you too old for me to tuck you in?"

Tobias shook their head slowly.

"I'm glad." Loren said as she shook their blanket off quickly and wrapped it around Tobias, tucking them into bed like she used to. "There, how's that? Any better?" 

"Yea, a little." 

"Good. The bucket's still right there if you need it, ok honey?" 

"Uh huh." 

"Ok. I hope you feel better soon." Loren rubbed their blanket clad shoulder and kissed their forehead. "I love you."

"Love you to, Mom."


	10. Cover

"Holy shit!" Johnny shouted.

"Good or bad?" Mike called in response from inside the apartment.

"Good!" He made his way back into the apartment's living room where the rest of the band were. The apartment was decent but none of them could afford it with their shit minimum wage jobs so they all decided it would be best to move in together.

"Hey, so, you guys remember Tobias?" He asked them all.

"Uh, do you mean the kid we saw at the Green Day concert a month ago having the time of their goddamn life? Tobias, adorable trans kid, our first and only fan? Absolutely. Why, you just remember them?" Alex asked, looking up from the patch she was sewing into the back of her wheelchair.

"Yea, that one. They just sent us a letter."

"No shit? What's it say?" Mike asked, too busy cooking to turn around.

"You're taking too long, fuck." Vixs said as she ripped the envelope out of his hands. She ripped the top off it off and pulled out the letter. "Wow. This isn't a letter. Shit, Mike get over here!" 

"What is it?" Alex asked from the couch. She had been walking too much without her cane yesterday and was paying for it today.

"A picture." Vixs said, displaying it to her girlfriend proudly.

"This is sick. Hey, we could use this as an album cover. Fuck dude." Alex said. "Is there anything else in here?" She tipped the envelope upside down and a piece of paper fell out. "We got an actual letter here to." 

"What's it say?" Mike asked as he took the picture from her.

"Everyone ready?" Alex asked as she unfolded it.

"Yea, we're good. Just read it." Johnny said.

"Ahem. It says: Hello, Queer Morale with all our names in parenthesis. I really liked your cd. Except for number four because my mom said I wasn't old enough to listen to it."

"Yea, that makes sense." Vixs interrupted. "'Fucked Up The Ass' is a bit too vulgar for a kid."

"Shut up." Mike hushed her.

"Anyway, they go: I hope you become famous. Aww, that's cute. We have a cute fan, you guys. Continuing: I was listening to your cd and practicing drawing whatever comes to mind instead of a subject and the enclosed. Oh enclosed, how fancy. The enclosed drawing is what I came up with. I hope you like it. I hope, also, that I will eventually be able to add more of your cds to my shelf. Signed, Tobias Fangor. First of many fans."

"I love her. Sorry Alex, i'm replacing you. She's so cute. Seriously though, there's no way we're not using this as our cover art." Vixs said.

"Unanimous then?" Mike asked.

"After they sent us a letter to go along with it? It'd be cruel to do anything but use it. If we weren't already dead set on becoming famous, we'd owe at least 25% of our desire for fame to this one kid." Johnny said.

"Can you imagine the look on their face when they see their drawing in a store on our cd? Like, dude. But also, the message that sends to other kids?"

"We'd have to tell people they're a kid though." Mike pointed out.

"That's true." Alex said.

"What's the problem? Just mail their parents back and ask if we can mention Tobias." Vixs said. "Fuck, the letter jacket I'm imagining has a blurb from all of us. You're my only friends and fuck my family, I'm giving Tobias a shout out."

"Why don't we all do it?" Alex asked. "Dedicate a side to them and other young queer kids. A message to kids and what they can achieve and telling Tobias how much we care about how much they care about us. Hell, if we get famous enough for this to matter we could maybe set a precedent of being nice to young fans instead of snobby assholes."

"Sounds good to me." Johnny said.

"Ditto." 

"Am I drafting the letter?" Alex asked.

"Are you doing anything else right now?" Vixs asked.

"Fuck it, good point. Grab me a pen, babe?" Alex asked, shoving her sewing supplies back into the drawer of the end table and taking out a piece of paper.

"Here you are, my sweet." 

"Thanks. This letter is going to be better than half the lyrics on that cd."

"I mean, we did say we suck." 

"Shut up and let me be inspirational."


	11. Oops

"The infamous Tobias, at last." Marco said as Jake and Tobias sat down at their lunch table.

"Don't be weirder than normal." Rachel said, flicking him. "He's mostly like this all the time."

"It's nice to meet you. Jake's talked a lot about you." Cassie said.

"He has?" Tobias asked.

"Maybe a bit." Jake said. His blush told Tobias that it might have been more than just a comment every now and then.

"You've been dating for what, a month or two?" Marco asked.

"Yea. Um, about two months. Two months tomorrow." They said. "We're not going to do anything though. Since it's only two months. Sometimes people do stuff like that but we're not."

"Told you it was weird." Marco said to Rachel.

"What would you know?" She said, flicking him again.

"Rachel's like that. She got Cassie stuff once a week for the first three months they were dating." Jake informed Tobias. "Simple stuff. Flowers, candy, a book on horses for their first month anniversary."

"Oh." They said.

They hadn't meant to be but they got distracted. Jessica was walking towards their table. Tobias frowned, the memory of what she had called them was still fresh in their mind. Because of her seating, Rachel noticed the other girl's approach soon after Tobias.

"What do you want?" She scowled. "Unless you're going to apologize to Tobias, I'm so not talking to you."

"I want you to come back on the team." Jessica said.

"Are you going to quit?" 

"Stop being an idiot and quit defending the tr-" 

"Hey!" Rachel jumped up and jabbed the shorter girl in the shoulder. "I told you not to call them that again, it's totally messed up."

"Sheesh, you don't have to make a scene. I just wanted to know if you changed your mind." Jessica said, scowling right back.

"I didn't. The coach sided with you two bigots so clearly I wasn't welcome." Rachel said.

Marco opened his soda with a loud hiss. The two girls zeroed in on him. "Oh, no, don't mind me. Keep going. We're all interested.

Rachel realized half the lunchroom was staring at them. She nodded to Marco but didn't back down.

"Ugh." Jessica scoffed. "You make it sound like you're one of them."

"I am!" Rachel exploded. She heard someone at a nearby table gasp and realized she said that out loud. Her face got pink but she kept going. "Yea, I was born a boy. I'm a girl now, get the heck over it! You got a problem with me or Tobias, you can fight me."

Jessica grimaced. "I can't believe I was ever friends with a freak like you."

Marco got up and threw out his garbage, sipping his soda. On the way back, he tripped. If Tobias hadn't been wearing their glasses and paying attention then they would've believed it was an actual accident.

"Ah!" Jessica screamed as Marco's coke came splashing out of the bottle and as it landed all over her. Her hair and white tank top bore the brunt of the damage but the bottle hit the ground and even got her flip flops wet.

Tobias helped Marco up and he winked up at them. Tobias decided they liked Marco.

Jessica stormed off and screeched as her flip flops made a wet squelching noise.

"Nice going, moron." He said to Rachel with a smirk.

"You to, you microbe." She laughed. 

They high fived.


	12. Health

"Have I ever shown you the movie Roadhouse, kiddo?" Alan asked as Tobias walked in from school. He couldn't see Tobias from the living room but Loren was having a department meeting and wouldn't be back for an hour or two. Alan took his guitar off its stand as Tobias walked in.

"I don't think so. What's a roadhouse?" Tobias asked as they sat on the couch. It was the best position to watch their dad perform, close but not too close that he couldn't use the guitar and far enough away that they could watch as he played.

"It's like an inn off a main road. It's a movie where Patrick Swayze's character, Dalton if I remember right, beats people up. That's not really important though. The important thing is that there's this guy in the beginning of the movie, Jeff Healey, who's blind and plays his guitar like this." Alan said as he sat down on the loveseat and sat his guitar flat on his lap and experimented with the opening chords of the song he was thinking of.

"The other important thing about the movie is that Healey plays this song, Angel Eyes, that I think Swayze's character dances to with his love interest. The song's the important part. I want to play it for your mom when she gets home from her meeting."

"That sounds nice." Tobias said. "Dad, can I ask you a question?"

"Always." He said, looking up without pausing. He knew he had the song down standing up but he wanted to be able to play it with his guitar on his lap.

"My health teacher was talking about stuff today..." 

"Should I put this back? Are we having the talk?" 

"No! No, no, no, no, no. Please no. I'm so not ready for that." Tobias said, red faced. "Just, keep playing."

"Ok. When you are though, I promise it won't be embarrassing. It's serious stuff, kiddo." Alan said.

"Fine, just not now. And stop with the kiddo, it's lame." 

"Oh, pish. I know you like it. Anyway, your health teacher was talking about something."

"Right. About relationships and stuff."

"Something up with you and Jake?"

"No. Stop interrupting. It's about you and Mom."

"Ok." Alan said, wincing as he messed up on a note.

"They said that fighting is a part of every relationship. I've NEVER heard you two fight. About anything. Like, ever. And..." Tobias trailed off and pulled at their fingers.

"They said if you don't fight, there's something wrong with the relationship?" Their dad guessed.

"Yea. And, just, you know?"

Alan chuckled. "I do. You wanted to check up on us, make sure we're good."

Tobias nodded their head quickly, too nervous to speak.

"We're great, Tobias. We're so great. I promise. Your health teacher is wrong. Healthy relationships don't have fights as a component of said relationship. Does that make sense?"

Tobias shook their head.

"There are a lot of things that go into making a relationship work. And they are, work. They're a lot of work. They take effort to maintain and to flourish, like a garden. But fighting isn't one of them. They happen, sure, but it's only when you don't communicate and you let things fester."

"I'll tell you this, Tobias. Your mom and I have fought before. Yelling and crying, they were nasty. But it's only because we didn't talk to each other and we bottled up our feelings. I won't tell you what they were about though because it's not your place to know. I don't mean you're too young or that you wouldn't understand but because you're our kid. You haven't heard those fights because there isn't a single reason that exists or could exist that would make it necessary for children to see or hear their parents fight and it's something your mom and I are fully agreed upon."

"We fought, got the emotions out, and then when we were up to talking, we talked. We smoothed it out and they're behind us. Healthy relationships don't involve fighting, they involve talking and being honest so you don't have to fight. Ok?"

"Uh huh."

"Anything else you want to know or that you're worried about?"

"Um...yes, actually. If that's ok." Tobias said, back to pulling their fingers.

"Always, Tobias. You can ask me anything." He said, putting his guitar down.

"In health class still, this was a while ago though, we were talking about sex and gender and stuff. And even though I was right there, they told everyone that you could either be a boy or a girl. You were born one or the other and you don't change. I know they're wrong because i'm not a boy or a girl and Rachel's a girl but it's frustrating and they look at me funny." Tobias told their dad. They weren't as upset as on the day it happened but their dad came over and hugged them anyway.

"Is it ok if I tell Mom about it?"

"Yes, please."

"Thank you. Because I'm upset now. They don't get to single you out like that and make you feel uncomfortable and they absolutely do NOT get to look at you funny. That's not ok in the slightest. It's extremely disrespectful. I don't care if they're an adult, that doesn't give them a pass to treat you unkindly."

"Thanks, Dad."

"Absolutely."

"I'm sorry you go through so much trouble for me."

"Excuse me?" 

"It's just that-" Tobias began.

"Hey, look at me." Alan said, tilting Tobias's chin up. "Tobias, I have never done anything for you that I wasn't fully prepared to do over and over again, for as long as you needed me to, before you were born. Your mother's exactly the same. If you needed me to, I would find a way to literally move heaven and Earth. Your mom would do the same except she'd bring the moon just for fun. I promise you, Tobias, you've never been a burden. We'll do whatever it takes to make sure you have the best life possible, that's what good parents do. The desire to do that is the baseline for being a good parent. Ok?"

"Uh, yea." Tobias said, blushing slightly. "That's, um, a lot. Thank you."

"You're very welcome. Hey, your mom's had a long day. Wanna surprise her with pizza?" Their dad asked.

"Sure. Want me to grab the menu?"

"That depends. How much homework do you have?" 

"Um, not much. Just health actually. I did the rest of it in my free period." 

"Good job. I'm telling you to skip your homework then. Let's go out for pizza instead. How's that sound?"

"Uh, awesome." Tobias said with a smile. 

"Good." Alan smiled and kissed Tobias on the forehead. "Now let's see how far I can get on Longview while we wait."


	13. Peace

"What're you watching?" Tobias asked, poking their head into the living room. They had just finished their homework for the night and needed a drink. A glass of homemade lemonade would do it.

"M*A*S*H reruns. Wanna watch with us?" Their dad answered, moving over so there was just enough space between himself and Loren that Tobias could sit down if they wanted to.

"Sure." They said, finishing off their lemonade and putting the glass in the sink before they sat down and snuggled up between their parents.

The three of them watched a few episodes and Tobias found themself struggling to understand what was going on. One episode was from the first season which they remembered watching before, where Hawkeye steals a desk to trade for medicine, while another switched to a later season with characters Tobias didn't recognize. Hawkeye stayed a pacifist though, which Tobias liked.

"Were you like Hawkeye, Dad?" Tobias asked, gently. They knew their dad didn't talk much about his time in the military, the only thing Tobias really knew about it was that it was brief.

Elfangor took a sharp breath, blindsided almost more by the intent behind the question and its innocence than by the question itself. "No." He said, stiffly as the memory of the three taxxons that he murdered with disgusting ease was brought crashing back.

"I would've liked to have been though." He said, channeling as much gentleness into his words as he could muster. Loren's hand on his knee helped. The only thing Tobias meant by the question was that they knew a father who was infinitely better than the soldier he used to be, Elfangor knew this. Still, it took him a moment to return to normal. "I knew someone though, who was similar to Hawkeye in a way. He strove for peace in a complicated situation. But Hawkeye is a character from tv and my friend was not. Do you understand?"

"I'm sorry." Tobias said, on the brink of tears. Looking him in the eyes, Tobias hardly recognized their dad in the person who sat next to them. They were sad, so sad. More miserable than they had ever seen anyone before. Tobias move to sit in their dad's lap and hugged him as they started to cry. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Had he been crying? Elfangor hadn't realized. But, yes, he brought his fingers up to his eyes and they came back wet with tears. But he reminded himself that his own emotions weren't important right now, Tobias was crying because of him and that mattered so much more. Before he could do anything though, Loren saved him again.

"Shh, honey it's alright. He knows you didn't mean it, it's ok. Shh." Loren said, lifting Tobias into her lap and stroking their hair.

"It's not ok! I made Dad cry!" Tobias sobbed into her neck, loud shuddering gasps that broke her heart.

"You didn't mean to though, baby. Shh. It's ok, it was an accident. Ok? Calm down, munchkin. Hush now." Loren soothed. "Dad forgives you."

"I'm better now, see? It's not your fault, Tobias. You didn't do anything wrong." Alan said, kissing the top of their head. 

"I did though, I made you cry. That's mean!" They cried, looking up even though they couldn't see through their tears and hiccuping from the force of their sobs.

"It's not mean, it was an accident and I'm better now. Ok, kiddo?" 

"No." Tobias shook their head forcefully.

"What if I forgive you? Will that be ok?" He asked.

Tobias nodded, sniffling as they wiped their eyes.

"Ok. I forgive you, Tobias. Ok?"

"I won't ask again, I promise." Tobias sniffled, curling back up in their dad's lap and pressing their face against his chest.

"None of that anymore, it's alright." Alan said, stroking their hair. "Look, we're watching something else now." 

Loren fumbled for the remote and changed the channel. The opening theme of Wishbone filled the room  but Tobias didn't so much as twitch. She rubbed circles across their back and in minutes, Tobias sagged against Alan's chest, asleep. 

"Let's not move them just yet." She said, resting her head on her husband's shoulder.

"Mhm." He agreed, leaning his head on hers.

Before the episode was over, all three were fast asleep.


	14. The Mall

"Hey, Tobias, do you want to go to the mall later?" Rachel asked as she threw the colored pencils she'd been using into the bin they'd been assigned. There were only a few minutes left in the day and she was excited to get out of school.

"Sure." Tobias said after they walked it over to the cupboard where each group kept their current art projects. "What for?" 

"Clothes, duh."

"Ok. I'll have to grab my allowance from my house though." 

"Sure. Can I get off with you then? I've already got mine with me. If you want, we could get you a purse. They're super useful."

"Ok."

"Does your mom let you wear makeup?"

"Not unless lipgloss counts."

"Eh." Rachel waved her hand in a half and half motion. "It's fun though."

"Ok. She says in a few years maybe."

"I can help you out when you want." She offered.

"Cool." Tobias said. 

The bell finally rang and students rushed out of class and filled the halls. Tobias and Rachel got separated and Tobias was glad that it was impossible to lose Rachel in a crowd. She was taller than most of the students but she held herself differently and it's what Tobias thought really made her stand out.

"My bus is this way." Tobias said.

"Cool." Rachel said, following Tobias onto their bus and sitting down next to them. "You have a lot of skirts."

"Yea, maybe." Tobias shrugged.

"I'm pretty sure you've worn a different once each day this week." Rachel pointed out.

Tobias thought about it for a minute. "Yea, I guess you're right."

"Why do you like them so much? Don't get me wrong, I like skirts to. But not as much as you seem to is all."

"I don't know." Tobias shrugged. "They're nice. Swishy."

Rachel laughed. "Yea, that's true. Do you have any dresses? They're like skirts but you have one less thing to match."

"No, I don't."

"Why? It sounds like you'd like them."

"Maybe. It's hard to clothes shop. I'm autistic and a lot of stuff makes me uncomfortable. And then there's all the people which is an autistic thing and a not being a boy or girl thing." Tobias explained.

"We'll just have to find you a dress you like then." Rachel shrugged. "I get it, staring and stuff can be hard. You're you though and have every right to shop wherever you want, anyone who says otherwise is an idiot who has no right to make you feel uncomfortable or unsafe."

"When I first started dressing like I wanted, it bothered me a lot more. Staring and comments and stuff. But now I know how to deal with it." 

"How?" Tobias asked.

"Don't get afraid. Or, no, get afraid but then get angry. Anger, even sometimes just staring right back at them, usually gets people to back off. They never expect confrontation and especially not an angry girl. They should though, they should."

Rachel's strategy didn't sound like something Tobias thought they could do with the same amount of success but before they could decide if they wanted to say something about it, it was their bus stop. 

"This is us." Tobias said. 

Normally when Tobias got off the bus, there was someone who tried to trip them. During the bus ride there was usually some comment of gross comment but as they stepped off the bus they realized that there hadn't been anything like that. Maybe Rachel was right.

They took off their shoes and Rachel followed Tobias up to their bedroom. Tobias turned towards their friend before they opened their door. "I have a cat. There's a 97.5% chance he's going to attack you and a 60% he'll hate you forever. Those aren't random numbers, my dad did the math based on the encounters Dude has had with people. He usually stays up here now."

"I'm surprised you went with Dude and not Grumpy." She said as Tobias opened the door.

Dude hopped off Tobias' bookshelf and was by their side before they dropped their bag. He rubbed his head on their leg briefly before wandering over to Rachel.

"Hey, kitty." She said, crouching down and holding out her hand. Dude licked her fingers and turned around, jumping up onto Tobias' bed. 

"I'm sorry, Dude. I'm leaving right now." Tobias said, scratching the back of his head. "Later though."

"I like your bed." Rachel said while Tobias took a metal box and a wallet off their shelf and sat on the edge of their bed. "And your walls." 

"Thanks." Tobias said as they counted out money and put it in their wallet. They closed the box back up and put it back in its spot amongst the books, VHS tapes, cds, and magazines on their shelf.

Rachel thought that while their room wasn't as pretty as her own, it was just about as neat. Their race car bed was in the left hand corner with the shelf at the foot of it. There was a desk on the opposite wall with a wastebasket next to it, a window to the right of the bed with a bureau underneath it, next to the bureau was Dude's food and water, a cd player with speakers next to the desk, and an opened chest on the right side of the door. Inside it, she could see dinosaur toys mixed with cat toys for Dude. Dude's litter box was what she assumed was behind a blanket hiding the far corner of the room.  
    
Dominating the wall over their bed, between the shelf and the corner of the other wall, was a T. rex roaring in your face. Rachel had no idea how Tobias slept underneath it. The bookshelf didn't look like it was interrupting any part of the picture so Rachel figured it had been painted around. There was some kind of bird that looked like it was resting on the edge of it, which confirmed what she thought. On the opposite side of the bookshelf was a lake with what looked to her like the Loch Ness monster poking its head out. On the bank was a triceratops and a herd of some smaller kind of dinosaur she couldn't place.

"What're the bird guys?" She asked, pointing to them.

"They were called Deinonychus." Tobias said, grinning. "They're super cool."

"Danny what? And why do they have feathers, weren't they lizards?" 

"Deinonychus. And nope, not lizards. They're birds actually. Like, all of them. Well, the other way around actually. Dinosaurs didn't all to extinct 68 million years ago. Some survived and then they became birds. So when you get woken up really early in the morning to birds singing, you're hearing dinosaurs!" They said, pacing and snapping their fingers excitedly.

"What? Really? No way."

"It's true, I wouldn't lie about dinosaurs. Here." Tobias said, taking down a magazine from their shelf and flipping through it. "Here, see?" 

"I believe you." Rachel said without reading it. "My brain is so not prepared for reading about lizard birds from a bazillion years ago right now though. You can keep talking about them, that's cool though."

"Ok, cool. Do you see the guy in the lake?" They asked as they went over to their chest and rooted around through it.

"Yea, lake dude is Nessie. Right?"

"Maybe, I don't really know anything about that. It's called a plesiosaur." Tobias offered her the miniature version.

"Plessy, Nessie, same deal." Rachel said, looking the toy over and giving it back. "It looks cool." 

"Thanks." Tobias said as they put it back in their chest.

The wall behind their desk drew Rachel's attention next. Rachel had no idea what color the wall actually was because there didn't seem to be a bare inch. It was absolutely covered in posters and pictures and more disorganized than the rest of the room put together. There were band posters for things like Nirvana, Green Day, and Radiohead mixed with older rock bands like Dokken, Twisted Sister, and Def Leppord. Rachel suspected that had more to do with Tobias' parents than their own music taste. There were movie posters for Jurassic Park, obviously, Star Trek, to more kid like ones like Disney movies. Interspersed between all of the posters were pictures. Most of them were of Tobias and their parents though there were a few of just their parents, there were also things like the woods and a zoo and an aquarium and what must have been recently added pictures of Tobias and Jake. 

"I thought I had a lot of pictures." Rachel said after she got done looking at the wall. "My pictures clog up a bulletin board, not a whole wall."

"Some of them are old." Tobias said with shrug. "Could you hold my wallet?"

"Sure. This is why pocketbooks are a good idea." Rachel said, putting it in her purse. "Ready to go?"

"Yea. I've got to see if my dad is home yet first. Usually he gets home before me or my mom since he works really early in the morning. I've got to leave a note if he's not here though."

"Ok." Rachel said.

Tobias walked across the hall and knocked on his office door. "Dad?" They asked.

No response.

"Note it is." They said, walking back downstairs to the kitchen. Tobias grabbed a pen and paper from the desk in the living room. "Went to the mall with Rachel, hope that's ok." They said as they wrote. "Back before..when?"

Rachel shrugged.

"Back before six." They said. They signed it 'Love, Tobias' but didn't say it out loud since it was slightly embarrassing. Tobias put the pen and an apple from the fruit basket on the counter on top of the note to weigh it down.

With that done, they put their shoes back on and left for the mall.

 


	15. The Mall (Continued)

"How about this, Tobias?" Rachel asked, offering another dress for them to feel. The fact that they had vetoed every dress so far just made her more determined than she had been on the bus to find them a dress that they liked. 

Tobias rubbed the material between their fingers. "Yea, this might work. How much is it though?" Tobias  asked as they found the price tag and frowned. "It's 25 dollars, that's a bit expensive."

"It might be but it's on sale. Buy two, get one half off. So I'll just buy..this one for thirty bucks and you can get that one for cheap." Rachel said as she held up a dress against herself.

"Are you sure? You don't have to do that." They said.

"I am though. C'mon, let's go try them on." Rachel said, urging them on. 

"Ok." Tobias said with a smile. Rachel's enthusiasm was infectious.

"Hey, Gwen." Rachel said, greeting the woman behind the counter and turning back towards Tobias. "And yes, before you say anything, I do come here a lot." 

"I wasn't going to say anything." 

"No Cassie this time?" Gwen asked. "Who's your friend?"

"Nope, she had chores. This is Tobias, they care more about clothes than Cassie so we'll probably be here a lot more."

"It's nice to meet you then, Tobias. You can either each take a turn until one of the rooms is empty or you can squeeze into the same one if you want." Gwen said.

"Do you want to, Tobias?" Rachel asked.

"Um, I guess it doesn't matter." They said. It was much better than possibly getting disapproving looks from adults as they stood with the dress. 

"Cool." Rachel said, taking a placard off of Gwen's desk and walking into one of the fitting room's.

As soon as she locked the door, Rachel put her dress down on the ledge, turned around so she wasn't looking at Tobias, and began to undress. When she reached over to grab her dress, she saw that Tobias had yet to move. She figured though that they would respond better once she had the sundress on.

"What's the matter? Do you need a separate room after all?" Rachel asked. "It's no big deal."

"Um, no. It's ok. Sorry, I was just thinking." Tobias said.

"About what?" Rachel asked, looking at herself in the mirror and twirling around.

"Um," Tobias blushed. "Jake. What he'd think of it."

"He won't think anything if you don't try it on."

"Yea. But what if he doesn't like it?"

"Firstly, he will. Second, he wouldn't say he doesn't if you do. Third, it'll look fine as long as it fits you. Fourth, it doesn't really matter what he thinks as long as you like it since it's your dress. And fifthly, do you intend to only wear it on special occasions?"

"It's just a sundress, it's not really the kind of thing you wear to wow someone. I guess it could be if you wanted it to, though a semiformal dress comes to mind for that and that's not for a while."

"Ugh, I don't know what I'm thinking." Tobias complained. "It's not like all that. I'm thinking of myself in the dress and that people, ugh, I don't know! It's not people liking it that I care about but it's like that, sort of."

"Ooh, I get it. You're worried about how people will see you. There's a word for that."

"Dysphoria?" 

"Yea."

"It's not that I'm super unhappy or angry with my body though."

"No, I get that. But that's physical dysphoria. There's also social dysphoria which is what I think you're describing, Tobias."

"Oh. Ok. So what do I do about it?"

Rachel smiled. "I think you should put the dress on and go from there."

"Are you sure?" They asked, pulling at their fingers.

"Of course I'm sure. Look at me." Rachel said, gesturing to the dress she was in. "I look like a girl, right?"

"Yea."

"It's because I am a girl. And girls come in a wide variety of shapes. And you might not necessarily be a girl but you look like you and I think that makes it even easier to tell someone: Hey, shut up! I look just fine and now go mind your own beeswax. So, again, I think you should try on the dress."

Tobias exhaled softly. "I think you're right."


	16. Lemon Squares

"What are you doing?" Loren asked, amused as she watched Tobias rifle through the kitchen drawers.

"Ugh." They muttered. "It's somewhere in here, I saw it the other day."

"Alright, and what is it that you're looking for? Maybe I can help."

"Jake's family is having a picnic and he and Rachel said we could come and that Marco and Cassie would be there to. I want to bring something." Tobias said, not pausing in their search.

"Ok. When is this picnic, first of all?" 

"This Sunday starting at one at Jake's house, ending whenever you want to leave according to Rachel."

"Alright. And?" Loren asked with her best Mom voice.

"Oh, right!" Tobias said, turning around. "Hey, mom, can we go to this picnic Jake's having?"

Loren chuckled. "Yea, I think that'd be alright. It starts just in time for me to get back from service so we can all go together."

"They're Jewish." Tobias said.

"I don't have a problem with anyone else's faith, Tobias. You know that. I'm a Catholic Worker, not some fundamentalist hypocrite."

"Right, yea." Tobias said. "So do you know where it is, Mom?"

"You never told me what you were looking for, munchkin." 

"I didn't?" Tobias said, scrunching their face up in confusion. "Oh, right, I was thinking about telling you."

"So what is it you're looking for?" 

"A cookbook. A dessert cookbook that has a section on kosher stuff. I didn't know how to ask if the food should be or not since I don't have a script for that kind of thing. The book has lemon squares on the cover and Jake likes lemon squares, everybody likes lemon squares, so I was thinking of making those."

"That sounds like a good idea, Tobias. Do you want a script for how to ask someone a religious question?"

"Yes, please." 

"Would it be alright if I asked you a question about your faith sounds like a good way to start the conversation. I might say: May I ask if any food I should bring is kosher, I would like everyone to be able to eat some."

"Ok, thank you." Tobias said. They mouthed the questions to themself. "So, um, do you know where it is? The cookbook? I wanna make some tonight to see if they come out good. I can give some to the others tomorrow at lunch to."

"Unless your father eats them all on you." Loren said with a smirk. "I put the cookbooks in the attic last week since we never use them. Want me to go get them now?"

"Can I come with you? You've got cool stuff up there."

"No, I've got junk up there that your grandmother insisted I would use one day and have never touched. But if you want to come up and look at it, be my guest. There's probably a platter you could bring to the picnic if you want." 

"Cool."

"Here you go, munchkin." Loren said after she opened the box that she had dumped her mom's cookbooks in and found the one Tobias wanted. While she was in the food section of the attic she found a blue china platter that Tobias could use, she didn't think her mom had ever used it. The Berensons could keep it for all she cared.

"Awesome, thanks Mom. Um, could I ask a question while we're up here? I don't want to ask Dad." Tobias ventured, clutching the cookbook and platter to their chest. They didn't want a repeat of last week, they didn't think that sour feeling in their belly would ever go away when they thought about the look on their dad's face.

"About your Dad's side of the family, right?" Loren asked with a sigh. She knew half answers would only satisfy Tobias for so long. They'd worked out the story years ago for just this problem though.

"Yea. Um, we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to though. I know it's sad." 

"No, I might as well tell you know. Come sit next to me, munchkin." Loren said, sitting down on the dusty attic floor.

Tobias followed quickly, intent on absorbing every detail they could. They already knew so much about their mom's side of the family while they could count on one hand the things they knew for sure about their dad's past.

They knew, foremost, that their dad had been a soldier and had done and/or seen things that caused him to occasionally wake up screaming, including the mental and/or physical death of a friend. Second, that he had moved to be with their mom. Third, he did not talk about his family or why he decided to leave. Fourth, he was uncomfortable around their mom's side of the family for long periods. Finally, they knew that their dad did not like to talk about his past.

"I want to say thank you, for not asking your dad. I know that must be hard but it's difficult for him to talk about these things. I also want to say that he loves you and I very much, ok?"

"I know that, Mom."

"I know you do. After your dad stopped being a solider, he took a vacation. A long one. He didn't tell his family he was done fighting, he just left. He was tired."

"...like your dad?" Tobias asked, quietly.

"A little. The situations were different. Your dad didn't stop at home like mine did. We ran into each other then, on his vacation." She said, with a soft smile. "Eventually we became friends and when it was time for your dad to make a choice, me or his parents, he chose me. Then we went to college together and you know the rest from there."

"Wait, I thought you met in college? That's what Grandma says."

Loren chuckled. "That's what we told her. It's a secret, ok?" 

"Ok." Tobias said, smiling for a second before something struck. "Did, I mean, do they know?"

"Does who know what?"

"His family. That he came back from fighting. Did he tell them?"

"No."

Tobias' eyes widened. "He never told them? Why not?"

"He couldn't. He wanted to, eventually. But they passed away before he could."

Tobias understood now, why their dad never talked about his past. It was probably like the feeling they had when they thought about making him cry but a lot worse. Regret or guilt or a mix of the two. "Does dad like lemon squares?"

"I believe he does, yea."

"I still feel bad. Like, really bad. I know he said it was ok but I don't feel ok, not yet. I don't want to make him happy just to make myself feel better but I think it might help. Does that make sense?"

"It does, Tobias. I think it's a nice idea. Why don't you help an old woman up so we can get started on dinner and dessert. Dad should be back from the mechanic's before we finish dinner."

"Ok. But 30 isn't old, Mom." Tobias said, helping their mom up anyway.

"I'm so glad one of us thinks so, munchkin."


	17. Animorphs

"Your cat sucks, dude." Marco said, sucking on his finger.

"They warned you not to pet him, nimrod." Rachel said. "And besides, he likes me so he must just have good taste in people."

"Yea, yea, whatever. He's a cat, he's not supposed to be the devil." Marco sulked.

"To be fair, he's been in a bad mood all day. Maybe he'll like you next time. He likes everyone else." Tobias said.

"Well obviously he likes Cassie, I mean come on, it's Cassie. And he probably only likes Jake because your scent's all over the idiot. Where are they anyway, I thought we were supposed to be playing?"

"Jake's trying to get Tom to DM. And Cassie said she'd be here at two." Tobias said.

"What time is it now?" Marco asked.

"Uh, 1:55." Tobias said, looking at the kitchen clock.

"If Tom's a loser and doesn't want to DM, who's going to do it?" 

Tobias shrugged.

"What about your mom?" Rachel asked.

"Mom? Why?"

"Well, she is an English teacher. Mine isn't any good at telling a story but aren't they supposed to be?"

"I can ask her if you want me to." 

"Might as well, Tom isn't coming." Marco said, looking out the kitchen window as Jake got out of his dad's car alone.

"Ok. One sec though." Tobias said, opening the door to greet their boyfriend. "Hey, Jake." 

"Hey, Tobias." He said with a smile that made Tobias' heart flutter.

"Cassie should be here soon." Tobias said, leading Jake by the hand to the kitchen table only a few feet away.

"I don't know who's going to DM, Tom said he's busy." 

"Rachel had an idea." Tobias said. "I'll be back in a second."

Tobias walked into the living room where their parents were watching tv. Some kind of Shakespeare documentary that Tobias might have been interested in if they weren't already busy. "Hey, Mom? Are you busy?" 

"It depends. What can I do for you, munchkin?"

"DM for us."

"I have no idea what that means."

"Dungeon Master. You tell the story, basically. It's ok if you don't want to though."

"Did you have something in mind for the story?" 

"Not really. At the picnic last week, we just decided we wanted to play and made up our characters."

"I think it sounds fun, lovely. You should do it." Their dad said.

"Can you give us ten more minutes, honey? This is almost over."

"So you'll do it?"

"Would it be ok if both your dad and I did?"

"Sure!"

"Then yes, we will." 

"Awesome, thank you." Tobias said, heading back into the living room to tell the others.

"What kind of story should we tell?" Loren asked.

"We could tell them the truth. Just, in a fantasy setting." Alan said.

"Are you sure?" Loren asked, both surprised and not at all surprised. Neither of them wanted to lie to Tobias but they had to. And she had to admit, they'd certainly like such a story.

"I think I remember you mentioning we were centaur like once." He answered. 

"If you're sure." 

"It'll be fun." He said, standing up and taking Loren's hand.

Five minutes later, they were all seated around the living room floor about to start.

"So, before we start on the majestic boat Starsword captained by the brave Prince...Elfangor, what's your adventuring group called?" Loren asked.

"Oh, I wonder where you got that name from." Marco laughed before seriously considering the question. "Cassie is a Druid and the rest of us are multiclassing Druids so we can all turn into animals. I got it."

"What is it?" Cassie asked.

"We're the Animorphs."


	18. MacGyver

"What do you mean you can't make a hydrogen fuel cell? You're in a spaceship! Of course you can! Loren, this movie is preposterous." Alan said, huffing in frustration.

Loren just laughed at him.

"Dad, he's got two aliens as best friends and one of them doesn't have a head and that's normal." Tobias said.

"Well, one of them should know how to make one." 

"Are you saying you could?" They asked.

"I could make a simple one in two minutes." He scoffed.

"Can you?" They asked, beginning to snap their fingers. Their dad was so cool.

"I just said I could, Tobias. I don't lie." 

"They meant right now. But also, absolutely not. I don't know what you're thinking but you're not going to make some kind of fuel cell in the garage." Loren said, sternly. 

"Aww, Mom! Why not? It's not Sunday but so what?" Tobias asked. While their mom went to church, they'd go to the garage with their dad and he'd come up with something cool just like Macgyver. It was a great way to start the day.

"It's a fuel cell, honey. That sounds like it might take the roof off the garage." 

"Don't be silly, Loren. It wouldn't be that big. And I'd make it in the kitchen, I need water." He said, almost too straight faced for her to tell that he was teasing her.

"Jackass." She muttered.

"Can he, Mom? Please?" Tobias pleaded, looking up at her.

Loren could never so no when they looked at her like that, face so full of adoration and simple joy. "You're lucky you're too damn cute to say no to. Fine, go ahead. But if it blows a hole in my kitchen, your dad's fixing it."

"So it's only my kitchen when I'm cleaning it?" Alan teased.

"Absolutely." She said before she kissed him on the cheek. "So, what do you need to make this?"

"Tobes, can you get me some clear tape? Lovely, could you get me a wineglass and fill it with water?" He asked.

"Sure." Tobias said before running upstairs.

"I'm timing you." Loren said, kissing her husband once more before heading into the kitchen and shaking her head slightly.

Alan came back from his garage with the rest of the materials and laid them out on the kitchen table. "So, we have here: a popsicle stick, a 9 volt battery and clip, a volt meter, and platinum coated nickel wire. This is just a simple one, the crew in the movie would obviously have to make something more complex but this is kitchen safe." 

"I'm going to cut the wire like this," Alan said, cutting it as he talked. "And then wind them up into coils like this. Then take the leads of our clip here and cut them. Now, we have to carefully strip the insulation. Once it's been stripped enough, we twist them onto the platinum wire electrodes."

"What's that?" Tobias asked. 

"An electrode?" 

"Yea."

"A conductor. In this case, the platinum wire coils we made."

"Ok, cool." They said, bouncing on their heels. They weren't really sure what was going to happen but they were sure it was going to be cool.

"Once that's done, we're going to connect the other end of the wires to the volt meter." Alan said, continuing to explain every step as he did it. "Now we tape them to the popsicle stick and make sure it's secure. Once we know it is, we tape the popsicle stick to the edge of the wine glass, it's important the electrodes are in the water but the wires aren't. Ok?"

"Yup."

"Ok. Then we connect the red wire to the positive terminal and the black to the negative like this." He said, attaching them to the volt meter. "Ready?"

"Uh huh." Tobias said, smiling.

"Now the fun part." Alan said, pausing for effect. He touched the battery to the battery clip. 

"Wow, the water's boiling!" Tobias exclaimed, watching in fascination as bubbles appeared in the glass.

"It's actually cooler than that, munchkin. You know what water is?"

"H20, yea."

"Hydrogen and oxygen, yup. I said earlier, I'm building a hydrogen fuel cell. Do you know what's going on?" He asked as he withdrew the battery.

"Nuh uh, you're splitting the water?! You can do that? Mega cool!" Tobias exclaimed, bouncing up and down with unrestrained enthusiasm.

"It's definitely cool that your dad managed to not blow anything up this time." Loren said.

"It was just the one time, lovely. And Tobias liked it."

"It was super cool."

"That's because you're thirteen, thirteen year olds are basically hard wired to like explosions." 

"It wasn't-"

"Scorch marks mean it was that bad."

"Fair point." Alan said as he began to dissemble the small fuel cell. "Was this cool, Tobias?" 

"Totally cool. Also, with all the training they were supposed to have, it doesn't make any sense why they can't scavenge the ship for parts." 

"I agree. Tomorrow, want to see me macgyver a potato into a flashlight?"

"Nuh uh, what?" 

Alan laughed. "Guessing that's a yes?"

"Yes, please. But only if you make home fries first." They said through a yawn.

"Deal, kiddo. Now that we stopped watching the movie though, I think it's time for bed." 

"I'm not-" Tobias was interrupted by their own yawn. "Ok, maybe a little tired. And I guess I do want to give you a kiss before you leave in the morning, Mom."

"We have such a great kid, Al." Loren said.

"Yea, we really do." 

"I'm going to bed now." Tobias said, ears turning pink

"Kiss goodnight first?" Loren asked.

"Good night, Mom." Tobias said, kissing her on the cheek. 

"Night, Dad." They said, repeating the action.

"We love you, Tobias." Loren said before she kissed them on the nose. Alan followed it with a kiss on the forehead.

"I love you to."


	19. First Kiss

"Blep blep blep blep blep." Tobias patted their face, making the noise that had popped in their head. They were sitting on Jake's bed and waiting for him to get back so they could finish their movie. Jake had said they could keep playing it but, if they were honest with themself, Tobias was scared and didn't want to keep watching without Jake there. Horror movies always creeped them out, they only agreed to even think about watching it because Jake suggested it. 

"Hey, sorry about that. I forgot to take out the trash was all." Jake said as he walked in, closing the door behind him. 

"That's ok." Tobias said, quickly holding his hand as he started the movie again.

They jumped as a tree branch burst through the window and grabbed one of the characters and then again when the same character was choked by a clown doll. The third time they jumped, when a woman is dragged into her swimming pool and surrounded by skeletons, Jake paused the movie.

"Do you wanna stop?" He asked. "I don't mind."

"Uh, no. It's almost over now, we can finish it. It's fine." They lied. Luckily, Jake hadn't mentioned how hard they were holding his hand even though it had to hurt.

"Well, I've seen the movie a bunch of times. We can do something else if you want." Jake said.

"Like what?" 

"We could take a nap if you want." 

Tobias almost laughed, as if they could go to sleep right after having watched such a scary movie. "That's ok."

"Are you sure?" Jake asked. "We can watch something funny if you want. I think my dad has a Monty Python movie somewhere."

"Well, if it's Monty Python..." Tobias smiled. Anything by Monty Python was infinitely better than the movie on now.

"Ok, cool." Jake smiled. "I'm going to need my hand back though."

"Oh. Right." Tobias said, blushing as they loosened their grip. Before they let go though, they grabbed Jake's fingers and pressed a quick kiss to his knuckles. 

"Ok." Jake choked out. He left with an even brighter blush on his face, one that spread all the way down his neck. 

Tobias would've giggled but they were almost as embarrassed that they did it in the first place. It was something they saw their parents do all the time. Sure, they thought, it looked kinda cute but Tobias had always wondered what the big deal really was. They figured it out if the flipping their stomach was doing was any indication. Jake blushing was fun to.

They heard muffled laughter, what must have been Jake's family seeing his blush. He came back a few minutes later looking frazzled but they weren't blushing as brightoy and they had a copy of Monty Python and the Holy Grail so, while Tobias couldn't be sure, they figured it was worth it. Everyone loved this movie.

"Sorry." Tobias said.

"What?" Jake paused, crouched down on his knees to change the movie but turning around and looking at Tobias.

"Sorry. About the kiss. If it was, uh, too much or something. I should've asked if that was ok. Was it ok?" Tobias asked, pulling at their fingers. It was supposed to be cute, they hadn't meant to make Jake uncomfortable!

"What? No, it was totally ok. It was just a kiss on the hand. Well, not just just a kiss on the hand. It was nice but it's like, a level or two below an actual kiss." Jake said. "Well, uh, not that that would be bad or anything I mean. Just, like, a kiss on the hand is definitely ok. You don't need to ask." 

Tobias barely heard their boyfriend say anything after 'actual kiss'. They found themself suddenly entranced by his lips. Even more suddenly, they were glad they had decided to put on their new lip gloss. Watermelon, not so coincidentally Jake's favorite fruit. "Yea. Neat. Um," Tobias slid off Jake's bed and joined him on the floor. In a surge of boldness they usually lacked, Tobias put their hand on his knee.

"Oh." Jake said. He reached out a hand and gently rested it on Tobias' shoulder. They were wearing a tank top which meant he was resting his hand on bare skin. It must've only been for a second but Jake already felt like it had been a very nice three minutes.

"Yea." Tobias said, carefully. Their brain had short circuited or something, it was the only reason they could think of for why they suddenly couldn't think of anything besides Jake's face.

"Could I-?"

"Do you wanna-?" 

"Sorry, you go." Jake said.

"You were first, it's ok." Tobias said.

"Ok, yea. Um, right. Could I kiss you, Tobias?" Jake asked.

Tobias paused. Jake actually wanted to kiss them? They wanted to kiss him, they'd really wanted to kiss him, but weren't sure if he wanted to. It was a shock to hear him ask.

"You don't have to or anything if you don't want to-" Jake backpedaled before his throat closed up. His throat closed up because Tobias inched closer, breathing as funny as Jake thought his own must be.

"I really want to kiss you." Tobias admitted. They surprised themself, they didn't feel even a little bit shy. They felt excited, electrified even as Jake's thumb brushed over their skin.

"You can." Jake smiled, closing his eyes and bending down slightly like he'd seen in the movies.

Tobias kept their eyes open as they inched closer, they knew people were supposed to close their eyes but it was their first kiss. They wanted to absorb it through all their senses. The feel of Jake's hand on their shoulder and his jean clad knee under their hand, the sound of their breathing heavy with emotions, the smell of Jake's shampoo, the sight of Jake's face ready to be kissed, and finally, blissfully, the taste of Jake's lips against their own.

The kiss lasted just a couple seconds before they had to break for air, both of them having forgotten to breathe. They hadn't even accidentally clacked teeth since the kiss had barely been more than a closed lip kiss but Tobias didn't mind. It had been short and maybe a little awkward but Tobias thought it was perfect.

"Is that watermelon?" Jake asked, grinning down at them.

"Yea." Tobias said, smiling back up at them.

"I thought you didn't like watermelon." 

"I don't. But you do." 

"Thanks. I like it."

"Good. Wanna taste it again?"

Jake nodded again, grin spreading prettily across his face.

Now they clacked their teeth. 

Tobias still thought it was nice.


	20. First Kiss (Continued)

"Have fun?" Loren asked as she pulled out of the Berenson's driveway. She didn't know what happened but she could tell Tobias was set to burst if they didn't get it out soon.

"I had my first kiss!" Tobias shrieked, grinning and flapping their hands wildly.

"Ah! I'm so happy for you!" Loren was glad there was a red light, she was able to reach over and squeeze Tobias. "How was it?"

"Agh, Mom, it was so good! So, we were watching a scary movie and holding hands and then Jake got up to change it and I kissed his fingers like Dad and you do and then he blushed and looked so cute and started talking about actual kisses and then he got down to actually change the movie so I got down and he touched my shoulder and I asked him if I could kiss him and he said yes and then he closed his eyes and we kissed! I forgot to breathe so it wasn't very long though. How do I breathe so I can kiss him again? Because I really want to kiss him again."

Loren had to bite her cheek to keep from either laughing or awwing so loud it measured on the Richter scale.

"Oh, and then actually, after we broke apart the first time he said he liked my lip gloss, the watermelon one I bought because it's his favorite fruit. Then we kissed again and it was awesome to! Our teeth knocked together but it was still fun." 

"I see why people like kissing so much, it's so good. Like, my brain just fried and all I could think about was Jake and then we were kissing and I'm so excited, Mom. Jake's so great, Mom, so great."

"So, being able to breathe while kissing will come with practice that I hope you'll get very slowly. But you'll get the hang of it eventually. And learning how to not smash your teeth together will also come with, again, slow practice. You're thirteen, you can take your time. There's no need to rush anything." Loren said.

"I'm super excited but, like, fried still. I could either bounce for, like, a day or I could pass out right now." Tobias said, a yawn proving their point.

"You had a busy day it seems, munchkin. It's ok if you want to hit the hay for a few minutes. I'd love to hear all about it again with Dad."

"Thanks, Mom." Tobias said, yawning again. They were really tired. "I love you." They rested their head against the window and in seconds were fast asleep.

"I love you to, kiddo." Loren said, smiling fondly. Becoming a mom was the best decision she'd ever made.


	21. Bullying

"Hey, kiddo. How was school?" Their dad asked, looking up from his grilled cheese as Tobias walked in.

Tobias closed the door behind them without a sound and dropped their bag in the corner. They weren't sure if they would be able to walk up the stairs, they definitely couldn't do it with their backpack on.

"What's the matter?" He asked. Normally, Tobias was tired from school but was always happy to get home since it meant they could spend time with Dude.

'Not right now.' Tobias signed with herculean effort.

"Ok. I hope you feel better soon. If you want, you can tell me about it later but I understand if you don't want to talk about it." He said. "I love you."

'Thanks.' Tobias signed. They dragged themself up the stairs and opened their door, Dude came running before towards them before they had flopped onto their bed. Tobias rubbed Dude's chin with a knuckle and he lifted his head up for more. They smiled and rubbed up and down his neck, glad that Dude liked it as much as they did. Tobias loved how soft he was, they thought he was better than a pillow. Unfortunately, the incidents at school left them too exhausted to enjoy it for very long.

Tobias curled up around him and ran their hand down his back. Dude chirped and ran in a circle, over and over to get as much attention as he could from one hand. They shook their head at him, they didn't have the energy to pet him for very long like either of them wanted. They scratched the spot behind his ear that Dude loved and ran their hand down from there to his tail before they had to give up. Tobias dropped their arm around him to give him a hug instead. Maybe Dude was content with what he got or maybe he was just fond of naps or maybe he could sense Tobias was upset, Tobias wasn't sure but they liked to to think it was the latter. Regardless of why, Dude settled down and began to purr against their chest. Tobias nestled their head against their pillow and let Dude's purring lull them to sleep where they wouldn't have to think about it anymore.

They were woken up by their mom knocking on the door. "Honey? Are you feeling any better? Dinner's done. Your dad made the french bread pizza that you like." Their mom called through the door. 

Tobias hummed just to try out their voice again to see if they could talk. It was progress they could make noise at all. Talking was still impossible, it was too hard to even open their mouth let alone make words. They weren't sure if they could even eat.

"I bought some cream soda. The glass bottled kind."

French bread pizza and cream soda in the glass bottles? They could at least try to eat. 

Tobias kissed Dude on the forehead and got up to open their door.

"Feeling any better?" Their mom asked.

Were they? They weren't sure. But they were up at least. Tobias shrugged.

"Do you want to give eating a shot, munchkin?"

'Yes.' They signed.

"It's ok if you can't, alright?"

'Ok.'

Tobias toe walked and  followed their mom not quite reluctantly downstairs and into the kitchen. The aroma of freshly made pizza filled the kitchen and Tobias breathed it in greedily, it was one of their favorite food smells. The table was already set and the food was already on their plates so they sat down, perching like a bird. They didn't normally sit down to eat like that but they liked it and it helped them feel a little better, so did walking on their toes.

They took a bottle of soda from the box on the table and took a sip. Tobias smiled as the delicious vanilla flavor touched their tongue, it instantly improved their mood. "Thanks."

"You don't need to thank either of us but you're welcome anyway, munchkin." Their mom said before she took a bite of her pizza.

Tobias hadn't taken a bite of their dinner yet but they could tell it was already going to improve their mood, it was heaped with cheese, black olives, onions, green peppers, and breaded eggplant and the bread was nice and crisp. They took a bite and were proved very right. "Ooh, this is so good."

"Glad you like it, kiddo. The sauce has extra spice." Their dad said between bites of his pizza. "So, how's Dude today?"

"He's good."

"That's good. How about you?"

"I'm ok now. How was work?"

"Work was fine." Their dad shrugged.

"What about you, Mom?"

"It was alright. How was school?"

Tobias sighed. They knew they could change the subject and their parents would probably drop it. Or, they could complain. Tobias took another bite of their pizza before deciding.

"Ok, so, Andy is this total SLEAZOID in my grade. Ugh, he's such a creep. He's a huge jerk to. In history, my first class of the whole day, we were talking about whether gay people should be able to get married or not and he had this whole stupid spiel about gay people being 'unnatural' and 'gross' and how 'they've got the same rights as everyone else, they can marry a boy or a girl' and just, ugh. People did that! They did that because they had to hide! So I told everyone that and his stupid side 'won' the argument because apparently my history teacher is super gross. And that was only the first thing!"

"Later, in lunch, I kissed Jake's hand again and Andy called us," Tobias scowled at the thought. "Ugh, I'm not even going to say it, he makes me so angry! Then Rachel told him to leave us alone and he said he 'wasn't going to listen to a boy in a dress' and then he was going to call Cassie something so she punched him in the nose and got sent home and he didn't even get in trouble!"

Tobias paused their rant to take another bite of their pizza instead of wave it around and took a long sip of soda before they continued. "Then, the rest of us were walking to the bus, because Cassie and Marco are in the next room over and Jake and I have science together, and I gave Jake a peck on the cheek because he's going camping this weekend. Just a peck, I promise, people making out in public is super gross. Anyway, I gave Jake a peck on the cheek and Andy called us that word again then he called me a word Jessica called me before and said we didn't deserve to be happy and then his stupid friend Tap-Tap was being super gross on the bus. Like, he even asked me what kind of underwear I wore! They're both huge creeps. Hargh, today was awful." 

"I'm very sorry that happened, Tobias. You know you do right? Deserve to be happy? You absolutely deserve to be happy, being you and especially with Jake. You have my permission to do exactly what Rachel did to, go ahead and punch a bully like that. That's what he deserves for talking a bunch of bullshit like that." Their mom told them.

"Thanks." They said. Tobias' eyes widened at the swear, their parents almost never swore around them. 

"Yea, you just heard your mom swear. I'm gonna do it again. That's a bunch of fucking bullshit and I absolutely intend to tear your homophobic history teacher a new one for promoting it." Loren fumed.

"Thanks."

"Would you like us to talk to someone about their behavior?" Their dad asked. "It's absolutely unacceptable, your school is supposed to have a zero tolerance for bullying and clearly they're dropping the ball."

"No, you don't have to do that. Thanks for offering though. I don't even mean I want you to but I said no to be polite, I mean you really don't have to. Rachel said her and Marco's mom, Rachel's mom is some kind of lawyer and Marco's mom is some kind of politician or something, are going to take care of it." Tobias said.

"His mom's name is Eva, right?" Their mom asked.

"Uh, yea, I guess so." 

"She's running for city council. She already sounds like she has my vote. I've only talked to Peter, sounds like I should call her. See if there's anything I can do. I know you just said we don't have to do anything, munchkin, but I want to. Bullying is horrible and nobody should have to deal with it." She took an angry bite of her food and got up, walking over to the phone.

"This is going to be fun." Their dad said with a smile.

"Why?"

"Because you don't want to make a good mom angry and it sounds like the school is going to have to deal with three very determined, very angry, great moms who don't take 'no' for an answer. So I'm going to sit back, enjoy my soda, and at the rate this is going, listen to your mom help take down a school."


	22. Costumes

"Are you three excited? Because I know I am." Loren said with a smile, looking in her rear view briefly to see three smiling faces.

"I am, yea. Thanks for doing this, Mrs. Fangor. I'm not sure exactly how prepared you are for Rachel in a clothing store though." Cassie said, nudging her girlfriend.

"Rude." Her indignation was softened immensly by the grin on her face. Halloween was one her favorite holidays and the prospect of getting to try on a bunch of different costumes with her girlfriend and her best friend made her giddy.

"This is going to be great, Mom." Tobias said, flapping their hands in excitement.

Halloween shopping was always fun, their mom loved it almost as much as they did, and it was going to be so much better with Rachel and Cassie with them. What made it extra fun, Tobias thought, was that their mom had suggested it. 

"I agree, munchkin." She said. "Not only do we get to have fun but your dad gets a break from listening to us scream about Halloween in September."

"Aww, your mom calls you munchkin. That's adorable!" Rachel said 

"Mom!" Tobias whined, cheeks turning pink.

"Haha, sorry kiddo. Let's see what's on the radio." Loren said, turning the volume back up. She hardly ever actually turned it off, it was easier just to turn the volume down to zero. She smiled as the DJ announced the next song- We're Not Gonna Take it by Twisted Sister.

"The guy in this video is totally Chapman." Rachel said.

"Yea." Cassie giggled.

"Is it lame for the teacher to agree with you?" Loren asked. She was sure he didn't remember anything but she still didn't like him. Trying to sell out the human race was unforgivable even if he didn't remember doing it, in her opinion. Since she was one of only two people to remember the situation, she figured it carried some wait.

"No." Tobias said.

"Thank you, honey."

"Don't you mean munchkin?" Rachel asked, laughing as her friend got pink again. She grew serious once she stopped laughing. "Is that too much? I know me and Marco rib on each other constantly but if it's too much, I can stop." 

Tobias thought about it, brow furrowed. "I don't think it's too much. You're not doing it to really be mean, right?"

"No way. Sorry, could you not tell?"

"I think most people could figure it out, maybe. But it's hard to tell sometimes. I didn't think you were or anything, you've always been super nice. Just, better to be safe and all that I guess." Tobias explained.

Loren smiled to herself, she was so glad Tobias was comfortable enough to have that kind of conversation with their friends and that their friends were comfortable having it with them. In a few minutes, she pulled into the parking lot of the specialty Halloween store. She had told Tobias after she come up with the idea that she didn't really expect them to settle on costumes so soon, but after a week of stressful testing they could all use a break. Loren had decided it was close enough to Halloween for it to make sense as a way to unwind. After all, the store was opened already so other people must have had similar ideas.

"Do you have anything in mind?" Loren asked. 

"I warned you." Cassie said, shaking her head fondly and looping her arm around Rachel's.

"It depends. Individual costumes, group costumes, individual costumes that could work in a group slash group costumes that could work individually all have different considerations. If we're going with individual costumes, probably something fancy from the 1700 or 1800s. Ladies men's wear kind of thing to be specific. Group costumes could be, well, anything. It depends on what the group is. And any individual costume that could be used as a group also depends on everyone else. But I could settle for cheesier costumes in  group setting, you don't want to distract from the group as a whole." Rachel explained as they walked through the doors into the building.

"You stand out in every group." Tobias said to Rachel's total confusion.

"Is that a good thing?" She asked, amused.

"Oh, uh, yea. You stand out is all. Like, your personality and stuff." They offered.

"Thanks." Rachel said with a smile.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude." 

"Nah, you're fine." Rachel waved them off. "Speaking of group costumes though, do we want to do that? We're all going trick or treating together, right?" It was more so a question of Tobias joining them in trick or treating, the rest of them had been going together as a group for years.

"I don't know if we want to do group costumes but going together would be fun." Tobias said. 

"Cool." 

"We've got plenty of time to decide about doing group costumes or not but if we decided now, Jake would go along with it and he'd get Marco to as well." Cassie said. "We can probably wait though."

"I keep forgetting Halloween is still weeks away." Rachel said. "But at least we have pumpkin spice lattes."

"How often are you drinking coffee?" Loren asked, raising an eyebrow.

"A few times a week." Rachel answered, honestly. "It's probably better than soda is."

"Water's better than either."

"Eww, what am I? Some health nut?"

"No but you do sound like Marco." Cassie said.

Rachel gasped. "When I force you into costumes you're not going to like, you'll only have yourself to blame." She said, digging her fingers into the shorter girl's side in immediate retaliation.

"Rachel!" Cassie squealed. She was extremely ticklish and her girlfriend loved taking advantage of that fact.

"Oh hey, Nirvana." Tobias said, turning around to find the speaker. The song was too quiet for them to hear very well, and Kurt Cobain was singing, but they thought it sounded like Smells Like Teen Spirit. 

"Tobias, I have yet to see your closet but I'm a million percent sure you've got at least five outfits that would make you a mini Cobain. You're not buying a Kurt Cobain outfit." Rachel said without taking her eyes off the costume she was appraising.

Loren slapped a hand over her mouth to keep from combusting with laughter. If a long sleeved plaid flannel and a pair of ratty jeans made a Kurt Cobain costume, Tobias had seven of them. They were even wearing a flannel right now. "Tobias already repeated Kurt once, they don't like doing the same costume three times in a row." 

"Mooom." Tobias whined.

"You've been whining a lot lately." Loren said with a good natured smile, she was only teasing.

"You've been embarrassing a whole lot lately." 

"It's one of a mother's many duties."


	23. Cooking

"I want to learn how to cook." Tobias announced as they walked into the living room

"I'll be happy to teach you." Their dad said, pausing the movie they had been watching.

"Why?" Their mom asked, curious.

"Because: It's important, I can't really make anything that needs the stove or the oven if you're not here, not that you're both gone a lot I mean just in case and stuff, I don't have a lot of skills or anything and cooking is a good one to have. I don't think any of the others can cook. Like, I had to tell Rachel the other day that corn doesn't grow on trees. Maybe Marco can cook some, I think. Jake definitely can't cook and I'm not sure about Cassie." Tobias said.

"But-" Their dad said.

"Wait, wait. I know I've got some skills but, like, nothing that will really help me if I had to live on my own or anything. I can't cook, I can't really do any of the stuff that you or Macgyver do. I can't play any instruments, I don't even think I know what a checkbook looks like let alone how to balance one, and, like, I can read but not as analytically as Mom can. I'm basically useless." They continued.

"Yeesh, existential crises sure start early." Their dad joked. It feel flat. "Look, kiddo, all of that's ok. That's the point of school and parents, to teach you that stuff. It's ok you don't have many skills just yet, you're only thirteen. You've got a long time before you need many of them. I'll gladly teach you how to cook and if you want me to teach you about electrical engineering and chemistry and all that instead of just showing off, I can do that to."

"Exactly, munchkin. And you'll learn how to read texts thoroughly as you advance in school. I think you do a really good job for a kid your age though, especially considering the books you read. Not every thirteen year old understands as much about animals or art history as you do."

"Thanks."

"Did you want to cook anything specific?"

"Uh...maybe. Could you narrow it down?" Tobias asked. Broad questions like that were always difficult for them to answer.

"Breakfast food, lunch, dinner, dessert, candy, appetizers?"

"Home fries, spaghetti and meatballs, or pumpkin pie." Tobias answered.

"I vote pumpkin pie." Their mom grinned. She loved pumpkin pie.

"Tomorrow's Sunday, I think I can teach you how to make home fries for breakfast if you would like." Their dad said.

"Awesome." 

"I'm glad you approve. I don't actually know how to make pumpkin pie but that sounds like something we can figure out together."

"Really?" 

"Of course. It sounds fun. It's also a good opportunity to teach you how to shop responsibly."

"Cool. I think. Maybe."

"Anything else, munchkin?" Their mom asked.

"That's it for now." Tobias said, shaking their head.

"I'm glad we could help." She said. "Want to watch? We just started this movie. Or are you in a rush to be responsible?"

"No, a movie sounds good."


	24. Pumpkin Pie

"Ok so that's 3/4 cup of sugar, right?" Alan asked.

"Yup. Pour it in?" Tobias asked.

"Yup." Loren encouraged, leaning against the counter on the other side of them so she was out of their way.

Tobias nodded and poured the sugar into the bowl, mixing it with the teaspoon of cinnamon and the punch of salt, clove, and nutmeg already in there.

"Do you want to beat the eggs or should I?" Alan asked.

"You can do it. Can I crack the eggs?" Tobias asked, walking over to stand by their dad. It had been a few days since they had told their parents they wanted to learn how to cook and they'd already learned how to make restaurant styled homefries. They had went shopping with their parents yesterday and, true to his word, their dad told them how to compare prices, net weight, and other stuff. Tobias knew they would get it eventually.

"Of course, kiddo." Their dad said, opening the container of eggs. "It's best to use a seperate cup or something to crack the egg in rather than the main bowl so you don't have to pick eggshell out of the food." He took a measuring cup down from the cupboard and left it on the counter for Tobias.

"Ok." Tobias said. They took an egg out and tapped it against the rim of the glass like they'd seen their parents do before. "Ah!" They yelped as all the egg came pouring out. 

"It's fine, it's fine. It was just a bit too hard." Alan said, calming wiping the bit of egg off the side of the measuring cup and the counter. He tossed it in the trash and picked out the peices of shell and tossed them to. "Want me to show you?"

"No." Tobias said, lips pursed in determination. "I can do it." 

"I believe you." 

Tobias sighed and tried again. They grabbed another egg and gently cracked it against the side of the measuring cup. The egg cracked but didn't break. Tobias rolled the egg over a little and tapped it again. Then they applied just a little bit of pressure on the egg and it poured out into the measuring cup without issue. They tried not to smile, it was just cracking an egg after all.

"Good job, munchkin." Their mom said with a smile.

"Thanks, mom." Tobias smiled back. It was just an egg but it was still an accomplishment and they felt good about it.

"We have an egg and a half, do you think we should add another or is the can of pumpkin good enough?" Their dad asked them.

"Uhh...what's the egg do?" Tobias asked.

"Eggs make stuff thick and fluffy. That's why you add an extra egg in brownies." Their mom said.

"I guess an extra one wouldn't hurt." They said.

"You're the boss." Alan said. He cracked another egg into the cup and grabbed a whisk from the drawer. "Does the recipe say lightly or well beaten? Or just beaten?"

"Uh...it just says beat the eggs then add them to the sugar mixture." Tobias said, reading the recipe out of the book their mom had found in the attic.

"Ok." Alan poured the eggs into the sugar after he had gotten them well beaten.

"Do you want to open the can of milk or do you want me to do it?" Tobias asked as their dad whisked the eggs and sugar.

"You can do it if you want, kiddo." 

"I'll do it." Tobias said. They definitely knew how to work a can opener. They made sure to pour it in slowly so their dad had time to mix it in with the sugar and eggs. Once it was all mixed, Tobias opened the can of pumpkin and scraped it into the bowl for their dad to mix.

"Here's the crust. The oven is already preheated at 350." Their mom said, walking over to the fridge to take out the crust Tobias had helped her make earlier. Alan helped Tobias pour it into the crust and put it in the oven.

"Now we wait half an hour for it to cook then an hour or two for it to cool." Alan said as the three of them cleaned up. "What do you want to do while we wait?"

"Want to beat me at Mario?" Tobias asked.

"Well if you insist." Alan laughed.

Loren kissed their cheeks as they walked past. "How about pizza for supper?" She asked.

"Yes, please." Tobias said.

"I certainly don't object, darling wife of mine." Alan smiled.

He loved his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a legit pumpkin pie recipe. I'm vegan so I can't vouch for it specifically but it's probably fine.


	25. No War

"Tom here was thinking about joining the military after high school." Steve said, nodding his head in his eldest son's direction. "You were in the military, right Al?" 

"Yes." Alan said in between sips of his lemonade. Tobias and their friends were upstairs in their bedroom and he only planned on having the one so this particular lemonade was hard. 

"Any advice, Sir?" Tom asked from across the table, drinking a regular lemonade.

"Don't." 

"Don't what?" Tom asked.

"Don't go. Don't join. It will be the worst decision you will ever make, no questions about it. You're not serving your country, protecting freedom, or defending anyone's rights bar the ruling class' perceived right to raid and plunder and ruin other countries. Don't do it. I won't let you, actually." The former soldier said to Tom, firm and resolute. Then he turned to the boy's father. "Steve, you're a doctor. You took an oath 'If it is given me to save a life, all thanks.' You'd be breaking it by sending your child to kill, to take life which will hang on your head and his. You are to provide warmth and sympathy, do you do any of that by allowing or encouraging the death of children which will surely scar your own?" 

Alan, at some point that he didn't realize, had stood up. He found himself shaking slightly and stilled his hands. "I will stand here all night and through until the morning if that is what it takes for you both to reconsider this catastrophic failure of thought. I made that mistake. I'm lucky to be where I am today but others are not. Others are dead. To breathe no more, to never laugh or cry or watch a movie or take a drink of lemonade or tell their family how much they are loved. To never scream at the injustice they witness or do anything about it. Dead. Do you understand me, Tom? Dead. If you must do something bigger than yourself, become a doctor like your father or a writer like your mother."

Tom swallowed. Sure, he'd thought about what he might have to do but he had reasons. Maybe good ones. "Sir, I understand-"

"No, you don't. I hope you never do." Alan cut him off, voice brittle and clipped.

"Ok, you're probably right, Al. He probably doesn't it. But-" Steve was cut off as well.

"A test then. If he fails, I will leave you two to whatever your decision is." Alan said. "Stand up, Tom. Come here."

"Uh, ok." Tom said, walking over to stand beside him. 

"Strike me." Alan insisted.

"You want me to punch you?" Tom asked, wide eyed. That was ridiculous.

"Yes. In the nose." 

"I can't do that." Tom said.

"Why not?"

"You haven't done anything!"

"And you think every kill you make will be someone who has done something against you? War is not neat. It is bloody and awful. There is no good war. Just? Maybe, maybe. But not good. Hit me!"

"I can't do that." Tom said.

"Why not?" Alan demanded.

"It'd be totally wrong!"

"And do you think you could stab me? Shoot me?"

"I know you though. You..." Tom trailed off.

"Finish the thought."

"I..." 

"Finish it." Alan ordered.

"You have a family." Tom said, small and quiet like he never was.

"Yes, I do. And so will other fathers and brothers and mothers and sisters and cousins and grandparents. Once you start thinking that that doesn't matter, that they aren't people because they've been labeled the enemy, you've lost. I will not allow either of you to ruin your life or another's."

"I'm glad to see you hesitate. That's a good thing. Do you see, Tom? Do you see why I can't let you make this decision?"

"Uh," Tom swallow. "Yea, I think so."

"Good." Alan sat back down and knocked back the rest of his lemonade. "Now go bother Jake and his friends like a good big brother."

 


End file.
